This morning, on the phone with Rea, The best defense is a strong offense if you're a near-sighted rhino.
I dare you to try to come up with the conversation we were having to illicit that little gem.
Here is a helpful hint: she had mishearing something i said as "a hot hippopotomus".
GO!
Showing posts with label quick quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quick quotes. Show all posts
Monday, October 7, 2013
Monday, September 30, 2013
Feeling So Random
Went to see Thirty Seconds to Mars last night and ended up on stage this close to the drums.
Will share the story, but realize that I need to tell a story of a story to get to that story because.. well.. i'm me. Keep an eye out; mayhaps all 3 stories will get posted by New Year's.
Sitting here working on another Etsy update - Pink Ribbon earrings for October. They are a mix of cute ones from last year and awesome new ones so there both new and old pictures to go through, but I am really distracted by the fact that my chest smells like tacos from a wee lunch incident.
Had dinner Saturday at fTM Miriam's new apartment; she lives in an actual Baltimore rowhouse.
Last week the hardwood floors in the foyer of my building and the steps going to the upstairs apartments were stripped and sealed. We couldn't use the front door for several days, but they do look incredible.
The down side?
It smelled like varnish and decay, with an under note of natural gas.
I slept with the windows open, fans on and several extra blankets but I think there might have been some long-term brain damage. I mean, nothing that smells that bad can possibly be good for you. Plus, I spent so much time around flammable chemicals the last 20 years that I was in a state of heightened awareness on the lookout for a non-existent chemical leak.
For three days.
It was exhausting.
At the Parisian Flea one day I saw this box -Beaver Finger Ring Cutter- and was like what?
Those words make no sense in that order.
Opening the box I found a truly alarming looking instrument:
Beaver. Finger. Ring. Cutter.
Pointy, circular bladed, sharp hooked, wicked looking thing.
Does it cut fingers?
Where does the beaver come into the picture?
I ask Andrew and he told me that it is for when someone has a ring stuck on their finger.
WHAT?
MENTAL MORSEL:
It cuts the shank of the stuck ring so that it can come off of the finger and it is made by a guy whose last name is beaver.
Even knowing the answer I am still a bit confounded every time I see the box.
Earlier I was on the phone with fTM Erin arranging to go visit tomorrow when she uttered, No Collin, you can't be naked in that rocket. I just imagine her 3 year old being like, Well which rocket can I be naked in? because that was my first thought. When I stopped laughing that is.
Sitting here working on another Etsy update - Pink Ribbon earrings for October. They are a mix of cute ones from last year and awesome new ones so there both new and old pictures to go through, but I am really distracted by the fact that my chest smells like tacos from a wee lunch incident.
Had dinner Saturday at fTM Miriam's new apartment; she lives in an actual Baltimore rowhouse.
It is beautiful.
She made Lydia's Stuffed Squash, so named because Miss Lydia had it last year and loved it so much that she has been asking Miriam to make it again.
Stuffing of quinoa, onions garlic, carrots, cranberries, apples and walnuts is cooked inside of a roasted acorn squash.
It is autumn on a plate.
As my first experience with acorn squash like this I am delighted to report it was yummy.
And yes, Lydia joined us for dinner because how can you have Lydia's Stuffed Squash without her?Last week the hardwood floors in the foyer of my building and the steps going to the upstairs apartments were stripped and sealed. We couldn't use the front door for several days, but they do look incredible.
The down side?
It smelled like varnish and decay, with an under note of natural gas.
I slept with the windows open, fans on and several extra blankets but I think there might have been some long-term brain damage. I mean, nothing that smells that bad can possibly be good for you. Plus, I spent so much time around flammable chemicals the last 20 years that I was in a state of heightened awareness on the lookout for a non-existent chemical leak.
For three days.
It was exhausting.
At the Parisian Flea one day I saw this box -Beaver Finger Ring Cutter- and was like what?
Those words make no sense in that order.
Opening the box I found a truly alarming looking instrument:
Beaver. Finger. Ring. Cutter.
Pointy, circular bladed, sharp hooked, wicked looking thing.
Does it cut fingers?
Where does the beaver come into the picture?
I ask Andrew and he told me that it is for when someone has a ring stuck on their finger.
WHAT?
MENTAL MORSEL:
It cuts the shank of the stuck ring so that it can come off of the finger and it is made by a guy whose last name is beaver.
Even knowing the answer I am still a bit confounded every time I see the box.
Earlier I was on the phone with fTM Erin arranging to go visit tomorrow when she uttered, No Collin, you can't be naked in that rocket. I just imagine her 3 year old being like, Well which rocket can I be naked in? because that was my first thought. When I stopped laughing that is.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Quick Quotes 9
Yesterday I had to open the Parisian Flea because Andrew was sick and needed to go to his doctor.
I was showing rings to one of our regular customers when he arrived late in the afternoon with prescriptions and shopping bags in hand.
After saying hello to both of us, he set down all of his bags and said, My Uncle Cupcake owns a farm.
No follow-up; just Uncle Cupcake owns a farm.
I was sure that the infection had spread to his brain.
The customer and I both looked at him like he was an alien.
After about a minute he continued,
My uncle's nickname is Cupcake, he is a farmer and it is his birthday soon; look at what I found and he held up a block printed birthday card of a farmer on a tractor pulling a cart with a GIANT cupcake in it.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
It all made perfect sense, but his delivery was so random that I am going to adopt that phrase for... well, something... it is too good not to utilize somehow.
I was showing rings to one of our regular customers when he arrived late in the afternoon with prescriptions and shopping bags in hand.
After saying hello to both of us, he set down all of his bags and said, My Uncle Cupcake owns a farm.
No follow-up; just Uncle Cupcake owns a farm.
I was sure that the infection had spread to his brain.
The customer and I both looked at him like he was an alien.
After about a minute he continued,
My uncle's nickname is Cupcake, he is a farmer and it is his birthday soon; look at what I found and he held up a block printed birthday card of a farmer on a tractor pulling a cart with a GIANT cupcake in it.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
It all made perfect sense, but his delivery was so random that I am going to adopt that phrase for... well, something... it is too good not to utilize somehow.
 |
| this is NOT the card he bought, but a similar one that can be purchased here |
Sunday, February 19, 2012
quick quotes 8
Spending the weekend with Colleen in NoVa; things get pretty silly by 1am.
C: Why would the soap even BE there? It's not like i am going to wash my face in the toilet.
N: It is a bad day if you're washing your face in the toilet. Something has gone really, really wrong with your plans if you are washing your face in the toilet.
C: Why would the soap even BE there? It's not like i am going to wash my face in the toilet.
N: It is a bad day if you're washing your face in the toilet. Something has gone really, really wrong with your plans if you are washing your face in the toilet.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Quick Quotes 7
Sitting at my desk when co-worker Jami walks up with a pan flute she had just made from straws and tongue depressors asking, Can you listen to me play this and tell me if it is anywhere close to being a real scale? I can't hear the difference in tones.
TM Chris calls out, Do you want my phone? There is a tuner app on it that i use to tune my ukulele.
What about that situation isn't ridiculous?
It's my real life every day, people.
TM Chris calls out, Do you want my phone? There is a tuner app on it that i use to tune my ukulele.
What about that situation isn't ridiculous?
It's my real life every day, people.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Quick Quotes 6
It has been forever since a Quick Quote, but not because my co-workers are any less hilarious.
Across the office from me, Abby was working on her summer camp about the science of magic when she busted out with, That's not science. That's the opposite of science. That's lying! to no one in particular.
Yes, Abby dear, that's kinda the point of magic.
Her tone, though, was so personally affronted that it sent the rest of us into gales of laughter from which it was difficult to recover.
Sometimes it is hard to believe that we ever get anything done around here.
Across the office from me, Abby was working on her summer camp about the science of magic when she busted out with, That's not science. That's the opposite of science. That's lying! to no one in particular.
Yes, Abby dear, that's kinda the point of magic.
Her tone, though, was so personally affronted that it sent the rest of us into gales of laughter from which it was difficult to recover.
Sometimes it is hard to believe that we ever get anything done around here.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Quick Quotes 5
We were talking about hair and TM Megan nearly exploded with
...and I had a horrible perm. My hair was down to here (indicating her waist) and my mom didn't want to deal with it so she just permed it. It was frizzy and poufy and terrible. I hated it. pause OH! A bird once got stuck in my hair.
(apparently it was a friend's parakeet that was flying in the house and his feet got tangled in Megan's hair; she brought in a picture of it today; dang i wish i had a scanner so that you could see the bird perched on top of this little girl's white-man's-fro)
...and I had a horrible perm. My hair was down to here (indicating her waist) and my mom didn't want to deal with it so she just permed it. It was frizzy and poufy and terrible. I hated it. pause OH! A bird once got stuck in my hair.
(apparently it was a friend's parakeet that was flying in the house and his feet got tangled in Megan's hair; she brought in a picture of it today; dang i wish i had a scanner so that you could see the bird perched on top of this little girl's white-man's-fro)
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Quick Quotes 4
We were walking out to the van early Friday morning to go to our shows
when we spotted something on the plaza.
It was a drawing in black
of a walrus
ummmm... what? It was a nicely done, cartooney walrus.
It was not there the day before.
What was he doing there? How? Who? WHY?
TM Amy looked at it and said Someone must have done a drive-by walrusing.
This is my life, people. Really.
It was a drawing in black
of a walrus
ummmm... what? It was a nicely done, cartooney walrus.
It was not there the day before.
What was he doing there? How? Who? WHY?
TM Amy looked at it and said Someone must have done a drive-by walrusing.
This is my life, people. Really.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Quick Quotes
I work with a cast of characters.
Really, they are all freaks. In a good way, of course.
With the office populated with so much personality it is not unusual to hear statements that make no sense out of context.
Well actually many of the comments make on sense IN context.
A good example would be the classic lunchtime quote from TM (team member) Amy, We need a table; i have mushrooms.
Many days we'll come in from the road and find some bit of wit and/or/nor wisdom written on the white board. There has been an on-going discussion for several years of us trying to create a compendium of the insanity. For some reason, that makes me think of this blog. Therefore, I will be, upon occasion, capturing bits of dialog here, under the label Quick Quotes.
Don't try to understand what's going on, just enjoy the scenery.
[hmmmmm... that might be the motto of the Nikiverse, actually]
October Team Day 2009
TM Megan - I can't think right now; i've had too much cinnamon.
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