time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking...

It is startling to realize that today is the future you prayed for in the past.

Twenty-five years ago today, at 9:45am, I received a phone call that changed my life.
Instantly, changed everything.
From that moment on, everything that i have done and everyone i have met in my adult life would not have happened.
No Traveling Science Program.
No NikCo.

It can be argued that every moment of every day changes your life, that there are infinite possibilities for you and every second you somehow choose a single one so the rest fall away.
Meta-physically, sure. I buy that.
But we all know that there are days, events, moments that shape us more than others.

That phone call changed the course of my life, but more importantly it also changed me.
Three words defined my actions, reactions, choices and, in many ways, my identity for a long time.
A long time.
I can full sense-memory recall that moment: where i was, how i felt, hear the words.
I can barely remember what i had for lunch yesterday, but that moment is as clear as a bell.
Twenty-five years have passed.
A lifetime.
Really, a bunch of different lives as careers and friends and families have changed through that time.

If i met 23 year old me on the street, i wonder if she would even be able to guess that I am her.
Would this chonky, middle-aged woman with two-toned hair and a quick laugh even feel familiar to her?
I wonder if she would believe me if i told her that she survives, that some day she would heal.
And be broken again.
And heal again and be broken again.
Etc.
That she would come to understand that life is an episodic cycle of triumph and pain.
That she would make peace with it and learn how to rejoice the ups and weather the downs.
That the time would come when she didn't cry every, single day?
That she would consciously search out joy and try to help others find it as well.

Sometimes, in a flash of melodrama, i do wish there was a way that i could reach back to comfort that girl. She was so lost.

But i know her and i think she probably wouldn't believe me anyway.

I would have made up this word if it didn't already exist

Language is a tool to be used for clear communication. It is no secret that i often combine, add pre- and post-fixes and plain make up words to get exactly the meaning i need.
One of my favorite things about researching Thesaurus Thursdays has been discovering words that seem to have come straight from the Niktionary and this week's is a doozy:
AMOREVOLOUS -  an anglicised version of the Italian adjective amorevole (loving) to mean kind and affectionate, possibly from the 1600s [primary source]
Isn't it wonderful? Dare i say marvelous? In fact, i would.
It takes the feel and power of marvelous and makes it stronger by specifying that someone or thing is marvelous in the way that s/he/it/they loves and cares and shows affection.
It describes a wonderous kindness and i can support that.

This is Rickki Rea.

My champion through life's crap.

She's amorvelous.

Dory had the right idea

Our new quote is perfect for mid- February.

Or really any time. 

All times, in fact.

It comes from a book in one of my favorite series -the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher- called Death Masks and is self-explanatory:

It isn’t good to hold on too hard to the past. You can’t spend your whole life looking back. Not even when you can’t see what lies ahead. All you can do is keep on keeping on and try to believe that tomorrow will be what it should be – even if it isn’t what you expected. 

fast and easy

Fleet of finger and easy as a breeze, this post for Thesaurus Thursday must rapidly introduce thrip as a simple way to say swift and uncomplicated.

ps - it is an old way to describe snapping your fingers and should not be confused with the icky, invasive insects called thrips ;-)

sometimes eyes are not enough

January is bleak, people, but February is even bleaker.
That's a cheery thought, no?
Grey day after grey day, bracing winds - blech!
Oh, it is gonna get worse before it gets better.
It is so easy to lose your sparkle, to get bogged down with the darkness and weather.
      Sometimes it seems like there is less joy, less laughter, less magic in the world this time of year.
How easy is it to just stop believing that the sun will come back, that flowers will bloom again?
How easy would it be to surrender our belief in wonder? To allow the winter air into our hearts and freeze our souls? To become jaded and hard?
   Joy is easy to come by in Spring, full of rebirth and Summer, blazing with sunshine and Autumn resplendent in color.
     Winter is when we must seek out beauty, search for happiness, put concerted effort into finding our joy. It is hard to see in this grey haze so we have to use all of our senses and our hearts and souls to overcome the mid-winter blahs.

It may be easier to give in to the apathy and stay in bed with fuzzy blankets up to our ears, but it isn't better.
This week's quote from the fabulous Newbery award winning book Flora and Ulysses by Kate DiCamillio speaks to me about the struggle to stay positive in this Winter world:

"Bah, cynics," said Dr. Meescham.

"Cynics are people who are afraid to believe."

Don't be afraid to believe in goodness, in happiness, in sparkle ponies.
Keep your heart open.

psssst: a girl might not just be talking about the seasons  :-)

oh how i love goals!

I do love a good to-do list or resolutions or goal plans.
 The focus of having on paper exactly what needs to be done.
The joy of crossing something off of the list.
Ahhhhhhh...fantastic.

     The 1001 Goals in 101 Days ran from January 1, 2015 to September 27, 2017.
It was the first time that i attempted something so long range and found that though it allowed a freedom to explore a huge diversity of projects, it allowed too much time for a procrastinator like me.
Deadlines motivate me.
Pressure pushes me to achieve.
Knowing that i had years to accomplish something left way too much allowance for me to do nothing.
I am proud of how much i was able to accomplish, especially with my dad dying at the beginning of the challenge and my apartment being in disrepair or construction for 17 months of the challenge, but did not do nearly as good as i would have liked.
To see the final numbers on the 101, go to its page here.

      Rea started her third 101 on January 1, 2018 and wanted to know if i was gonna play along this time. After much internal debate i decided to do a Halfy; that is, 51 Goals in 501 Days. The shortened time period will be better for my personality, but having almost a year and a half still allows for some big and/or long term goals.  I chose to start it on January 15, 2018 so that it will run until May 31, 2019.
Just like the 101, the 501 has its own page in the Nikiverse that you can access from the sidebar or click here. 
The plan is to update it weekly so check back often.
If you are interested in doing your own 101, a Halfy or any goal system and want some support and/or accountability, OR if you want to follow everyone's progress OR if you are a good cheerleader, feel free to join out FB group here.

Wish me luck!

for anyone who trips over air

I am clumsy.
There is no way around the truth: i bang into things. A lot.
Mostly i am not really awkward, except when dancing and then watch out for the flailing.
It's not like i have long, gangly limbs that i can't control getting in my way and tripping me up or that i lack confidence in myself and end up bumbling about.
Quite the contrary.
Poised and self-assured, completely in control of my faculties, i walk right into things.
And trip over things.
And scrape across things.
And fall down.
It is like an affliction, people.
My brain and my body are just slightly out of synch. I know that i need to walk through the doorway and turn down the hall, but my brain does it faster than my body so that by the time i reach the door my brain is already thinking about going down the hall so i turn a split second too early and smack right into the post.
All of this happens in milliseconds without me being consciously aware it. That is, unaware of it until my hip checks the wood. Owwwww
It has taken me years to figure out the problem.
Folks would helpfully suggest that i pay more attention to my surroundings, but i thought i was.
This tiny body lag is also why i drop words out of sentences when i am writing and interrupt people when they are talking, which is super annoying for my grammar checker and anyone trying to maintain a conversation with me.
Everyone naturally has body lag, of course. Neural impulses travel faster than muscles can contract. But not everyone is clumsy.
I feel like i am somehow physically lagging much further behind my mind than most people. Hence the tripping over the same rug that has been in the same place for years or hitting my toe on the bed leg even though i know exactly where it is.
I am fine as long as i concentrate only on locomoting. And i do mean concentrate.
Don't laugh at me when i go down stairs one step at a time like a toddler, clutching the banister or walls like we are experiencing an earthquake because no matter how ridiculous and feeble i might look, i know that if my concentration slips even for a moment, down i will tumble.
Why am i sharing all of this?
It is Thesaurus Thursday and i have stumbled upon (rimshot) the perfect adjective for me:
 aclumsed.
Why did this gem ever become defunct?
Aclumsed sounds way cooler than clumsy; it is more refined and less clunky, but none the less is still covered in mystery bruises. Like me.
Aclumsed really hits home the sense of  the clumsiness being forced upon one like a curse or a Christmas fruitcake.
Let's bring aclumsed  back into the vernacular so that we can at least sound cool while laying in that puddle.

no time to be bored

Our new Glimpse into the Commonplace book is a quote about boredom from a fine mystery novel i read last week recommended to me by my BFF, The Lake  House by Kate Morton.
I find that there is too much to do, too much to see and too many naps to be had in the Nikiverse for boredom to take hold for long. Sure, there are times when my thoughts wander in an endless loop, but luckily there is always something sparkly or odd about to catch mt attention.

Boredom, as her mother had always told them, was a state to be pitied, the province of the witless.

LOVE this picture. It is SOOC of an approaching rainstorm from last summer - look at how the fluffy white clouds seems to be battling the encroaching dark one.

for whom the snowman bell tolls

You know when you are busy - head down, shoulder to the wheel, getting it done, etc - and you suddenly look around realizing that you have somehow ended up someplace ridiculous?
I am sure it happens to most people, but i think it might happen a bit more often here in the Nikiverse because of the nature of my job.
Okay, and mayhaps because of the nature of me.
A jewelry station of sorts has been fashioned on the breakfast bar of the house i am currently watching so that i can get finished several commissions that are due this week. It is not ideal, but a girl's got to do whatever to get things done.
This morning it occurred to me that i have one more festival this weekend (Saturday at Margaret Brent MS for those of you in Southern MD) and am almost sold out of Christmas and winter Quirkees: YIKES!
A quick trip home to the studio to grab some appropriate charms, beads and bells later, a hodge-podge of merriment has been added to the already questionable work space.
    It is a splayed mess, people.
Anyhoo, i am intensely focused figuring out how many Quirkees i can add to this week's schedule and where to lay them out in this chaos when i hear myself say, Come on Nik, you don't have time to make everything. Santa penguin, Santa cardinal or Santa bluebird? Penguin, cardinal, bluebird, penguin, cardinal, bluebird - they are all birds and all Santas, just pick one.
That is the moment when i had to pause, to reflect on the serious tone of such a ridiculous question.
My life is currently all about choosing an anthropomorphic holiday bird to make into earrings.
Wow. This is not a place i could have imagined for myself.
It isn't a bad place, mind you.
Just a weird one, worthy of a haiku moment.

Bells. Birds. Birds, bells, birds.

Reindeer, snowflake, Santa hat.

Oh my strange, strange life.

Holly and Ivy