farewell Lydia; be sure to wear your seatbelt

Today was my last adventure with Lydia before she moseys south to join her sibs in Georgia and we had to do it up BIG style.

Big Crash Test Dummy style, that is.

Searching for giant objects to collect for my 101 (4 down, 6 to go - 394 days to finish) I saw a post about a giant crash test dummy in Maryland.
In Glen Burnie.
At the main MVA.
Like, less than 20 minutes away.
How is that even possible? 
   I was sure i had every cool/strange/odd thing of a gigantic nature in the metro area.
Turns out "Lamont" was installed in 2012
 to remind drivers to wear their seatbelts,
which is the same year i stopped traveling for work.

And i, like all rational individuals,
avoid the main MVA like the plague.

No wonder i missed it.

wee little Lyds - he's 5 times normal sized

But by jiminy, i was determined that Lydia was not going to miss it before she traded steamed crabs for peaches.

So we parked in the sketchiest, vaguely abandoned parking lot we could find by MVA and walked over to meet him.

Here we are in front of two large signs about the history of the seatbelt. 

No, really. 

A comprehensive history of seatbelts. 

On well-written, actually interesting plaques.

You kinda have to see it to believe it.

Good luck, friend and remember to always buckle up and avoid the peltzman effect. 

Lamont would want it that way.

random brain bits

I love visiting Florida.
Living there? Not so much.
But a nice week in the sunshine is just what is needed to relax, clear one's mind and start to shake off those winter doldrums.
There are record high temperatures this week.
The AC broke, so that's a bit unfortunate.
Still, i don't have to shovel heat.

Two weeks ago i couldn't close zip-top bags.
I use them every day in the studio.
I have never had any issue before, but suddenly, no matter how many times i slid my fingers down the top ridge, it wouldn't seal.
I tried different sizes and brands, but i was stymied.
What the what, people?
Then just as suddenly, last Tuesday i could close all of the bags again.
Sometimes i think my house must have been built over toxic waste and the fumes are making me hallucinate large parts of my life. It would explain a lot.

Going by someone's house yesterday on my constitutional, i saw small decorative piles of rocks placed as yard art and said, Oh look -  Inukshuks! to the no one riding along with me.
Then i paused to think, Why in the world do i even know that word? Inuit sculpture isn't something i encounter in my every day life.
It was from an episode of due South.
Betcha haven't thought about that show in a hot minute.
Who says tv isn't educational?
Upon closer investigation they were less traditional Arctic tribal art and more tiny little adorable  rock people.

i want them in my yard

Mental Morsel: the plural of inukshuk is not inukshuks as i thought, but rather inuksuit, which i have no idea have to pronounce.

Recently i heard some less than good news of a medical nature (not about me).
For the next 36 hours or so i had the Time For Your Checkup song from Doc McStuffins stuck in my head. A 43-year old woman with no children should not have to endure It's okay if you giggle; this will only tickle a little for that long.
Great. Now it is stuck in my head again.

Bonus Mental Morsel: despite sounding like most of the noble gasses (neon, argon, krypton, xenon and radon) the coolant Freon is not really a single chemical, but the trade name of a bunch of different chloroflourocarbons used as refrigerants.
Generally, Freon is four times heavier than air.

I can't believe it took me the last 25 minutes searching the internet to find that this guy's name is Sir Scoopsalot.

You know i can't resist a costume character and this guy was in Hampden, hon, handing out coupons to The Charmery.

If you haven't been to The Charmery in Baltimore, you need to go now.
They make all the ice cream in-house from local milk, invent interesting flavors and try to capture the spirit of our charming, quirky city.
I highly recommend the salty caramel.
Every day is the right day for ice cream, even if it is only 30 degrees.
Or you can get hot chocolate with house-made marshmallow.

The fountain in the lake in front of my dad's house goes off at 11:47 pm or, as my dad informed me when i pointed it out, 10:47 pm before daylight saving's time.
Nice round number, yeah?
It gives me pause.

Recently -maybe the last two months-  i have been using "totes" instead of totally when speaking.
Hello 2010, what are you doing here?
I didn't use that term when it was popular.
Why in the world would i suddenly start now?
I didn't even realize i was doing it until i heard one of my charges -a kindergartner no less- use it in a sentence and realized she had to have picked it up from me.
Now i am hyper-aware of when it slips into conversation and am really annoyed with myself.
So to all of the people with whom i might have had a conversation of late, i am sorry about resurrecting this lame slang.
I think i need to go with the snapping-rubberband-around-the-wrist aversion therapy to stop myself.

And finally, to end this stream of consciousness, kittens:

Spring 2014 with Erin, Caleb, Cameron and Collin

some local yumminess

A few weeks ago I tried two restaurants for the first time that are not only less than 2 miles away from my former museum, but across the street from each other; it is a wonder that somehow I’ve never been in either.

Big Matty’s Diner, at the corner of Lawrence and Fort in Locust Point, opened about a year ago after Rallo’s closed. A wonderful little traditional diner done in retro turquoise and silver, it looks like it came right out of the 50’s. [not really sure why there are no pics; I’ll have to speak sternly to my personal photographer]

The menu was exactly what you would expect with nice quality food and reasonable prices. Diane had a lunch combo of a cup of navy bean soup (she reported it was excellent), a house salad and a half sandwich of egg salad (you can choose egg, tuna or chicken salad) while I went with an egg salad sammie on toasted rye and fries with gravy.
In true diner fashion there was a mixture of regulars with folks from surrounding businesses all enjoying a laidback, friendly atmosphere. We even think that we saw Big Matty, judging by the logo, but he was behind the counter so we didn't get verification on that.
I recommend Big Matty’s if you’re ever in the neighborhood.

Caddy cornered across the street on Lawrence Ave, HarborQue was a revelation. I know that sounds corny, but when I walked in, the interior shocked me. Over the years there has been a sub shop, a pizza place and a kabob stand at this location, all with a take away counter , a few tables and a somewhat rickety deck.
The ladies who opened Harborque a few years ago totally redid the interior to create a homey family restaurant.

I had no idea this space could even look that good. Decked out for Halloween at the time, Harborque is decorated with local pictures and is also resplendant with pigs, as all good bbq places should be. It really has the feeling of a South Baltimore neighborhood place,

with plenty of sports stuff (Ravens for fall and winter; Orioles in spring and summer), including Ravens decorations specific to its decor (where do you even find a Ravens painted pig?), dog treats since people in SoBo take their dogs everywhere and coloring books to accomodate all the young families moving into the new townhouses.
Lydia and I met here for lunch before going to the new exhibit on storytelling at AVAM.

After ordering at the counter we opted to eat outside on the much-nicer-than-it-used-to-be deck.



She had the pulled pork sandwich -which pretty much has to be eaten down with a fork before you can pick it up- with moni cheese and hush puppies, while i had the smoked sausage with moni cheese and collard greens.
 
I've never ordered collard greens before, but everything smelled so good at this place that i decided to be adventurous. They were pretty good and a perfect platform on which to try the four different bbq sauces.

I can not recommend this place highly enough.

complete randomness

Yesterday it was 86 degrees; today it is 56.
Welcome to spring in Maryland.

I had a show this morning (what idiot authorizes Saturday morning shows? oh, yeah...) and it was the same one where i got a touch electrocuted yesterday. I'm glad that i had to do the Jacob's Ladder again right away cause if i'd had to wait more than 20 hours i might have really psyched myself out. I was so skittish about testing it before the show that TM Chris actually laughed at me at one point. Good news, though - it worked perfectly, just like the hundreds of other times i've done it and no alternating current entered my body.

This is one of the ugliest flowers i have ever seen.
It is huge and kinda impressive in its weirdness.
One of my dad's friends grows them in his cool butterfly garden.
I don't remember what it is called, but it goes to prove that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder because it is quite popular with insects.
Maybe it has UV markings that attracts them.
Did you know that some insects can see in the UV spectrum?
Science is awesome.

When i was trying to remember the name of that hideous brown flower i did a Google image search with the parameters "pitcher shaped flower brown with yellow veins" and pretty close to the top i got this:

Really, Google? Try again.

I do not understand single ply toilet paper.
You aren't saving money or conserving resources cause you have to use twice as much, so what is the point?

I really like red hair.
I don't have many friends who are natural redheads,
but yet several of them have redheaded babies, like this little miss of Oregon Francie's:

Genetics is fun.











There is a new location of Sofi's Crepes in Belvedere Square,

 so now you can grab some crepes before or after your movie at the Senator.
As you can see, TM Katie's flabber was pretty much gasted [awesome phrase stolen from Jim Butcher and reworked to fit my needs] by the size and deliciousness of her Original with Bacon.
I am a bit embarrassed to admit that i've never been to the Sofi's by the Charles Theater -a Baltimore tradition- so this was a new experience for me completely.
I ordered like this Florentine beauty

which was tasty and a homemade butterscotch one that was hands-down the most delicious dessert i have ever eaten, ever.
Just be warned that there is a delectable, piping hot lake of butterscotch waiting at the bottom of the crepe, waiting to explode all over your uniform.

We celebrated Dash's second birthday last weekend and Kate made this great cake.
Yes, the pan did all of the tricky mouse shaping, but she piped on all of those delicious buttercream stars. My hand is cramping just thinking about it.





I've spoken before about about crazy school mascots that we encounter in our travels. Recently we were at a little private school that were the Panthers. That isn't that unusual, but check out this painting:

Is that not the smuggest expression you have ever seen?
He is painted on the wall where we were performing.
I felt like he was judging me during the entire show and distinctly found me lacking.
Oh yeah, Mr High and Mighty Panther? Well, you're... you're two dimensional!

Finally, i understand that we are a litigious society so there are warning labels on everything, but should anyone have to be told that it is a bad idea to put a mechanical hamster on his or her head?

That is all for now.
Return to your regular programming.
Thank you.

Alchemy

I've never participated in Baltimore's Restaurant Week.
Sometimes it has been money issues, sometimes it has been timing, but mostly it is because i don't pay enough attention to when it is happening.
fTM Felicia was talking about trying a restaurant in Hampden that she'd never been to, called Alchemy; her intended companion kept changing the plans so she finally just gave up on him and asked me to go with her. I agreed cause i'd never been there, either, not knowing at all that it was indeed Restaurant Week.
Three Cheers and a Tiger for lower prices!

Located on the Avenue in Hampden, Alchemy is located in a refurbed row and doesn't look like very big from the outside, but it has dining space upstairs and down, as well as a bar.
They describe themselves as Modern American cuisine, which in this case means lots of ingredients and normally out of Niki's price range. Luckily, the Restaurant Week menu had an impressive number of selections.

 Felicia started with French Onion soup and I went with crispy flatbreads with beets because i have never in my life willingly ordered something with beets as a main ingredient. They were diced and roasted, then mixed with bleu cheese and applewood bacon. It was surprising delicious and i loved the little cripy herb garnish.


For our main courses, Felicia had the crab mac and cheese which she described as very rich and full of hunks of crab meat, while i had the chorizo burger - it was phenomenal.

that knife is so cool

Obviously i took off about half of the arugula because even i couldn't possibly fit that in my mouth and removed the tomatoes cause ewwww; there were caramelized onions and Manchego cheese on the sirloin/chorizo blend patty. Never, ever have i tasted anything like it. Served with homemade chips and green chili mayo i can't recommend it highly enough.
It was a pleasant lunch with good company in a cheerful, brightly room. Plus, with the reduced prices, it kinda felt like we were getting away with something.

I'm not up to anything; what makes you think that i'm up to anything?

sock monkey saturday

note - listen, Rea, there are no real monkeys anywhere in this post. there is a vaguely creepy guy-in-a-sock-monkey suit, but no actual monkeys. i promise.

The American Visionary Arts Museum was sponsoring a class on making sock monkeys and co-worker Lydia asked if i wanted to go.
Even though we all know about my questionable sewing skills, it was a new thing so i said yes. In my mind i imagined 1 or 2 of AVAM's classrooms in their out building with some folks working away diligently to make wee monkeys as an instructor explained the steps.
Man, was i wrong.
What i didn't know is that Sock Monkey Saturday is a THING; i mean, a big thing. The entire top floor of the revamped warehouse was full of tables and tables of people.

Patterns were on the tables and step-by-step directions were being played on various screens around the room. You had to bring your own socks and scissors, but everything else was supplied at stations around the room.

Lydia and i found a table against a wall, went to get needles, thread and stuffing and got started.

We figured out the first few steps, but the directions were woefully lacking. Luckily, "Monkey Helpers" were wandering around to help out. Lydia and i both had to rip some seams and start over, but on the second try everything went fine.
 A family joined us about an hour into the adventure so our table was soon a clutter of monkey guts and string and bits of fabric.

It was so much fun. 

 The room was full and buzzing with energy of families and friends all working on the same project. It was great to see so many dads sewing away with their kids, as well as lots of teens, 20's, and 30's who were there without kids. It had a fabulous feeling of creativity and community.

There was a huge hanging photo frame where you could have your picture taken with your finished monkey and even a giant sock monkey character walking around.

The time went really fast and by the end of the event Lydia and i had both only finished the body and legs of our respective monkeys.

We agreed to finish them at home and bring them to work on Monday to show each other.

The purple and burgundy striped socks that i was working with were the ones i had worn to the Mars300 concert; i'd bought them intentionally, knowing that i was going to sock monkey saturday and planned on turning them into a concert keepsake.

It really wasn't hard to make the monkey once you understood the pattern, but those knit knee highs took forever to stitch and stuff. One of the volunteer Monkey Helpers had shown us a cool trick to wire the tail, so i was able to give him a jaunty corkscrew.

Once my monkey was really taking shape i added sparkley blue buttons for eyes (like mine, but a little darker). At the concert i bought a keychain with the band's triad symbol on it and turned it into a necklace for my monkey. I also made him a charm bracelet with Mars300 on it (metal stamping with inking). The date of the concert i intended to stitch on like a tattoo, but it looked horrendous, so i redid it with beading.

Finally, i decided to wire his arms and legs so that i could get him to sit upright next to the stereo.

Ta-da! A project, a keepsake and a new thing.

Lydia reported that her monkey took even longer to finish because she was using pink heart tubesocks,

so they just kept stretching as she stuffed it. In the end, hers ended up with the longest limbs i have ever seen, but with the heart shaped accents she added, it really gave him character.

Sock Monkey Saturday has apparently been going on for a decade. I highly suggest that you go next year because it was a hoot and a half!

Christmas Lights Gone Wild

One of the things on my Local See and Do list are the Christmas lights on 34th St in Hamden. It is unbelievable that i've never been to see them, as i love, love christmas lights and all things odd.
This year, after our 5th annual Elf Night at the Salvation Army, co-workers Jami and Will took me to experience the insanity. I feel like i need to let the pictures do the talking.

looking down the block

one side of the street

and the other

There's traditional mixed with salutes to Maryland and Baltimore.

Jami can join the holy family in the Robot Nativity while Will in his elf ears gets cozy with a random Christmas palm tree.

At the pet shelter house you can buy treats for humans and pets along with hot chocolate to sip while you explore the wide world of winter sculptures made from recycled things:








including this awesome Crab Sleigh and the infamous hubcap tree, along with the slightly less-well-known vinyl album tree

and Natty Boh angel tree
Some houses had so much going on
that you had to walk up onto the porch to get the full effect:


there were things in every window
or else!
It really embraces the full-on quirkiness of this town and has to be seen to be believed!