i would like my reward now, please

This may be the truest thing i have ever seen on the Internet.

found at theberry.com; no idea where it originated

I love lip balm.
Every kind of lip balm.
In my possession right now i have (and this is off of the top of my head): Carmex regular, squeezy Carmex, squeezy Blistex, Chapstick, Burt's Bees with tint, Nivea, Mellaluca, Mary Kay, Walgreen's brand and some generic thing from my car dealer.
They are in my room, the living room, the kitchen, my travel bag, my purse, my glove compartment and my pocket. Honestly, you should just never be too far from lip balm of some sort.
Plus, as the picture says - they just disappear.
I use lip balm every day and don't remember even once using an entire tube.
Ever.
UNTIL NOW
Duh duh duhhhhhhh:

Yes my friends, that is a completely used-up tube of lip balm.
I realize how crazy this is, but i was insanely proud of myself for actually using a full tube without losing it.

Side note:
Years ago, when i first started at my old job, i was partnered with Brian; that is, on the road with him every single day.
And every day when i put on lip balm i would ask him, Want some lip balm?
Why would i want to blow up my lips? he would reply, every day.
After five years, i still laughed ever single time.
In fact, i might have giggled just typing that.

the comic strip that most accurately captures my personality

actual phone call from today

My BFF normally calls in the morning and evening so that we can touch base and share our daily goals.
This morning I was out running errands when she phoned (not in a thousand years would she anticipate me already being at the bank at 9am) and missed her.
So once the groceries were put away (who am I kidding? the groceries made it to the fridge, but are still in the bags) I gave her a call back.
RING...
RING...
RING...
RING...
Rea (slightly out of breath): It figures you would call now. I just fell down. Let me call you back.
CLICK

That's right people, not only do I fall down myself, but now my mere presence heralds gravity's domination over us all.
My name is Niki and I am a Harbinger of Doom.

truth

My BFF sent this to me.
I think she was trying to tell me something.

It's not like i trip on smooth surfaces or fall up steps or walk into walls...
oh... wait...

hot trends of 2007

We all know that i live at least three blocks away from the outskirts of Hipville.
Taking a month off from the world gave me a chance to catch up on what is really important in this life: internet fads of years past. You know, like playing 47 on-line versions of Mah Jong and browsing lolcats to find the one that suits your personality.

bowties make me happy

snort, snort, snortle

Geeky, science humor slays me -for obvious reasons.
The R&D team has been working on a science humor experience and i can't get this joke out of my head:

Two atoms are walking along when the first atom exclaims, I've been robbed; someone took one of my electrons.
The other atoms asks, Are you sure? and the first one replies, Yes, I'm positive.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Honestly, it busts me up.
For the last week it has been playing in my head.
Sometimes i will be sitting in the van or reading a book or doing sudoku -minding my own business- and a little voice inside -with no warning- says Yes, i'm positive, sending me into a fit of giggles.
Then people look at me like i am deranged.
This is a problem.



Yes, i'm positive.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

T-Rex Trying

We all know that i am short (5'2"and three quarters), but it has been pointed out that even for my stature i seem to have kinda short arms. Really, my arms aren't that short, i am just super long torsoed (thanks Dad) so both my arms and legs seem proportionally short. Some of my closest friends and colleagues enjoy referencing the tyrannosaurus rex when helping me reach things on high shelves.
Why am i telling you this?
T-Rex Trying is a tumblr account that was brought to my attention last week when we were telling a bunch of science jokes (yes, we are geeks, but it was actually for a project; wait, does that make us bigger geeks?).
It is a series of drawings of a lovable t-rex trying to do ordinary things like jump rope or clean the windshield or use eyedrops.
With my wee little arms it is the funniest thing i have ever seen; i was laughing so hard that a co-worker came from the other side of the room to make sure that i was breathing. There are a few that are sad (trex trying to win an auction breaks my heart) and some that cut waaaaay to close to home (trex trying to get food from a buffet with a sneeze guard; i actually look like that if i want something from the back row - make salad bars only one row people!), but mostly they make me snort with laughter.
Given my penchant for ribbon dancing on the Segway, this is my favorite.

He just looks so befuddled.
I'm keeping an eye on their t-shirts cause i will scoop that up if it ever appears.