Things are moving along nicely in the studio, there is a doable plan in place, ideas about displays are coming together and i am taking the next two days off from work to make the final push.
Yet still i'm scared.
What if i run out of time?
What if i run out of supplies?
What if no one likes my line?
What if i don't sell anything?
What if the other vendors are stand-offish?
What if my stuff looks amateurish next to the professionals?
What if my friends at the store are embarrrassed by me?
What if my jewelry falls apart?
The questions become more and more ridiculous if i let myself dwell on the fear.
I know that it is the process that is important.
I know that taking chances are scary, but that it is better than being stagnant.
I know that to grow as an artist you have to push yourself past your comfort levels.
I know all of the right answers, but still i am scared.
This week's quote is a long one from the Dark is Rising series book Silver on the Tree by Susan Cooper about the folly of allowing fear to overshadow the joy of creation:
"So the Dark did a simple thing, he said. "They showed the maker of the sword his own uncertainty and fear. Fear of having down the wrong thing - fear that having done this one great thing, he would never again be able to accomplish anything of great worth - fear of age, of insufficiency, of unmet promise. All such endless fears, that are the doom of people given the gift of making, and lie always somewhere in their minds. And gradually, he was put into despair. Fear grew in him, and he escaped from it into lethargy - and so hope died, and a terrible paralyzing melancholy took its place."Not this girl, people.
No paralyzing melancholy for me, no sir.
As a friend once told me, The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Let's push past the fear and get a move on!