WARNING : GIANT CLOWN

No really, it is a giant clown.
How giant? you ask.
Can you spot me in this picture?

Okay yes, the clown in question is Ronald McDonald and he is not as scary as other clowns (at least not this mid-late 20th century version of him; some of the live ones i've seen have been highly questionable).

But this Ronald is BIG -

 big enough to hold me in his hand.

Located of I-71 in central-ish Ohio (exit 131, to be exact) this mega-Ron is welcoming everyone to share in a Happy Meal at the adjacent pavilion, which is probably the prettiest, most well-maintained McDonald's Birthday area i have ever seen.
Rea and i stopped specifically to collect this giant object for my 101 list when i was there for my birthday/Mother's Day in May.
She wanted a picture of me by the anthropomorphic food for another size reference:

though on closer examination,
does it look like
the hamburger is ironically trying to eat me?













A pleasant little stop in our day and another thing crossed from the list, but i do have to admit that when you are sitting under Ronald, looking straight up,

he is a little scary.

flat out alarming

Picking around random antique stores and junk shops leads one to encounter all manner of wackiness.
Generally, i am in favor of wackiness and the unexpected, but there should be a limit of how many flat out alarming things can be in a given area.
How else will we hold on to our sanity?
Case in point:
I am walking along, minding my own business when suddenly i am confronted by a clown - and not just any clown, mind you:

A creepy clown doll that looks like it was kidnapped from the normal dolls in the middle of the night, dressed in rags, painted with blood and forced to play cursed bongos to lead all of the other toys to their certain, inevitable doom.
Someone made that for children.
Someone bought that for children.
Do they hate children?
All one can do is screech, do a quick that-thing-is-freaking-me-out dance, poke at it a little, take a picture and move on.
phew...
No problemo.
Until...
... not even four feet away I was suddenly faced with this:

What the heck IS this?
It looks like Santa Claus.
But what is going on with his MOUTH?
Is it even legal for this to be in a public place?
Ohhhh... it is supposed to be a birdhouse.
A birdhouse?
Like some bird is gonna be like Hey, living inside that fat, old elf's head seems like a great idea. I'm pretty sure that generally birds avoid flying into predator's mouths.
Then again, it is ceramic so mayhaps it isn't meant to be used practically.
Which can only mean that someone thought a disturbing Santa's head birdhouse was decorative.
Right.
Either object would have been horrific alone, but confronted by both in a span of 3 minutes nearly set me off of my feed. Really, i can't even tell which is worse.

There should be a law, is all i'm saying.

everybody loves a parade

When i was last at my dad's it just happened to be Appreciation Week and i went to my first full-on golf cart parade. I've seen little ones around Christmas at my mom's house, but this was themed and had prizes so I had no idea what to expect.

Of course there was a color guard

and the park banner,

but i wasn't expecting fire trucks

or a drum line.

These people take their neighborhood parades seriously.
The theme for this parade was The Circus
CLOWN ALERT, REA
and even the Grand Marshals got into the Big Top mood.

The various clubs in the parade are regional based on where people are originally from, and no, there is no Florida Club. I didn't take pictures of everything, but here are some highlights.
First up was Canada

  
who had a very patriotic, if non-thematic, showing.
New York/New Jersey gave us
the Big Apple Garden State Circus

 

and they had this clown  who seemed very enthusiastic and glad to see me for no apparent reason; it was only later that i realized that it was my dad's neighbor.

 Helllllooooo, Mid-Atlantic!
My dad is the president of this club and they had some folks in costume

 (the lady on that bike in full costume is 90!)
   

while other carts had been turned into animal cages,
like it was a circus train:
 tigers are my favorite,
especially since my dad was driving 

  

cool, huh?  

New England had a clown parade

singing as they marched,
followed by their states' flags.

Finally,  Midwest was something of a spectacle

  
Like any good parade there was candy and toys (and popsicles cause it was so dang hot) being handed out and thrown from the golf carts. A clown handed me this great purple ring
 but i think we might be engaged now cause every time he saw me after that he blew me kisses and came over to get a hug.
Here's me and my roustabout dad by the polar bear cage (painted by another lady in the club who's 90).

Good times and certainly a new thing.
[BTW, dad's club took second place!]

why did it have to be clowns?

I went to the arena in Baltimore last night for a concert (epic details in the next post) and each level of the parking garage had a color and theme so that you could remember where you had left your car. The themes were all things that could reasonably be happening at the arena. How did i end up on the clown level? This greets you at the elevator. It was almost enough to make me want to get back in my car and move to another level. I never used to be afraid of clowns, but honestly, the older i get the more freaked out i am by them.