achievment unlocked - rose petal puller

I love new experiences and learning new things.
As such, i have accumulated an odd skill set.
Need a wedding dress properly corseted? I can do that.
Need to keep a nail from falling off after smashing your finger? I can do that.
Need to cook food for 150? I can do that.
Need to properly set a balloon drop? I can do that.
Need to mix glitter to exactly match your wall paint? I can do that.
Need to explain why the sky is blue with ordinary household objects? I can do that.
Need to navigate by the stars? I can do that.
Need to cook cauliflower so that it is delicious? I can not do that. Really, can anyone?

Recently i learned how to pull rose petals from the stem without damaging them.
Yes, there is a specific technique for that.
It involves holding the flower and stem in opposite hands with your fingers curled around the base of the bud just past the first few petal layers and then there is a pushing, pulling, pushing, rocking, pushing, slight twist and pull.

Voila! 
You are holding all of the rose's petals without the rest of the flower; now you just have to gently unroll the petals from each other.

Need petals to throw.

Denude the roses gently.

Ow! That's prickly!

PSA: As you finish 20, 30, 40, 50  roses, it is easy to become distracted.
Stay vigilant or you might forget that there are still thorns.

please don't ask again

It is a well known fact that i have a serious aversion to facial hair.
I believe it makes most guys less attractive (i do concede that there gentlemen who are enhanced by it, but only if it is well groomed).
And i really can't even explain how much i dislike the on going pop culture "let's put a mustache on everything to make ironically cool" movement. It is so ubiquitous that it has even made it into the Oriental Trading Co. catalog.
UGH! Stop it already! 
Anyhoo, late into the night/early into the morning last night, my friend Suzanne and I took a break from sorting and packing her studio to give each other some card-making challenges.
[more on that fun activity later]
She thought it would be hilarious to give me a piece of equipment that makes die cut mustaches, which according to the rules of the challenge i HAD to use.
Yeahhhhh... hilarious.
As i was designing, cutting, and crimping the stupid things she kept taunting me that the theme for the next retreat would be mustaches and that we'd all be wearing them and using them in projects.
People, here is a Public Service Announcement for you: taunting Niki is a bit like poking a sleeping bear - it might sound fun to some, but you never know what you're gonna get.
Last night, she got lucky.
Knowing it would make her laugh, i put on one of the 'staches while she was working on her own challenge. Indeed, there was a hearty chuckle and she said that if she could take a picture of me, no mustaches would appear at the next retreat. Therefore,

Why me, Lord?

Black hipster mustache.

BAH!       Cliched.        Hate it for reals.

Just this once, Suzanne.

Mixed up Love by Stampin' Up!

In case you were wondering, my challenge was to use green, orange and grey ink, the mustache framelit and this stamp set to make a card.

Here is my result:

not as dead as advertised

Waiting on the mat,

reaching to knock on my door,

little dead brown bat.

On the way to work one Thursday i opened my door to this sight.

Why is a bat out of its home in the dead of winter?
Alone?
How did it get into the house?
Why does it look like it was crawling toward my door?
What killed it?
What am i gonna do with a bat body?
Is this going to make me late for work?

I fetched a paper towel to be its wee funeral shroud and long handles tongs to pick it up since i didn't know if there were diseases involved. Of course, Mr Bat had a death grip on the mat fibers with his claws so i had to kinda pry each hand off which caused him to flip on his back and start moving.
NOT DEAD, PEOPLE, NOT DEAD

And that quickly it went from a clean-up to a rescue operation.
Find a small box, punch holes, line with paper towels, scoop Mr. Bat into the box, give him a little massage to warm him and get the blood moving and then shred more paper towels over top to hold in the heat.
At the emergency vets i got the number of an injured wildlife shelter and headed off to work with my bat in a box. (i told the vet tech, I found an injured bat. to which she said Is it alive? Honestly lady? I am at the vet's, holding a box with holes in it, do you think it is alive?)
I was able to nurse him through most of the day, but his condition was too severe. At least i know he expired in comfort instead of in the hallway.

PSA: taking an injured bat in a box to work in NOT a good way to find out your boss is terrified of all flying animals

what to do with Thanksgiving leftovers

Eat them.

randomly catching up

The festivals/ craft shows every weekend continue to go well and i thank all of those who have come out to say HI to me. However, continuing in the grand tradition of my first ever festival, the thwart-hog continues to plague me with the sorts of illnesses/injuries on festival days that only seem to occur in the Nikiverse.
I woke up with my jaw locked at 4am for the Hereford Festival; given my handling of broken metal daily tetanus didn't seem like too far of a stretch. Good news: as with many Nikillnesses after  a few days of handling symptoms - odd swelling, shooting pains that came and went, a hole in my lip that may or may not have been related - everything cleared up just as i decided that I needed to see a doctor.
Getting ready to leave for the OMHS craft fair I managed to catch my foot on a mirror that is up against a wall and slice the entire webbing between my third and fourth toes. Mind you, the mirror is flush to the wall and I walk by it 10-15 times a day. Ever tried to bandage between and under toes while bleeding profusely? Take my advice: don't bother. Dump on peroxide, wad in a bunch of sterile gauze, tape the toes together and pop two tylenol. You can be out the door in under six minutes, pain-free and without a blood trail. Viva Frontier Medicine!
Last weekend, the Browse and Buy was mostly incident-free so maybe we've broken the chain. We'll see this Saturday for the Emanuel Lutheran holiday craft festival.

When do you wash out your salt and pepper shakers?
I needed to do a refill on my table shakers -blue flower corelle ware from my childhood- and the cooking shakers -tall Tupperware cylinders from everybody's childhood. With Maryland humidity you add rice to the salt to keep it from clumping and normally I just pour more salt in since the rice doesn't come out during use, but this time I decided to get new rice as well. Dumping  the little bit of salt/rice mixture left in both shakers into a bowl I could make the right rice/salt ratio to put back in the shakers and as I reached for them it occurred to me that I never wash my salt and pepper shakers. They get low, I add more, they get low, I add more, over and over again.
In fact, I couldn't recall ever washing them or seeing anyone was them. Ever.
Salt and Pepper shakers are never empty so when would you wash them? Weird.
So I dumped the pepper left into a bowl as well and then soaked all of the shakers and caps. In fact, I emptied my light bulb pepper mill and washed it up as well. Everything is now shiny clean and filled with new salt and pepper. That should suffice for at least another 20 years, right?

Dr Cool basically told me that I needed to do a routine eye checkup before I saw her again or she was going to beat me. Not really, but she did shoot a stern and disappointed look in my direction which is the equivalent of a physical threat to my people-pleasing heart.
Though glaucoma runs in both sides of my family my eye pressure is fine.
But, I am getting old.
My visual acuity is down to 20/20.
sigh...
I know all of you glasses-wearers out there have no sympathy for me at all, but you need to understand that at one time I had 20/13 vision. fTM Brian used to call me Eagle Eye; now I am just Human Eye. It doesn't have quite the same ring, does it?
In fact, my lazy, slacker right eye is way down at 20/25. Sub-par and unacceptable right eye. In fact, I will need 1.0 reading glasses within the next couple of years.
sigh...
In brighter news I think I have found a new look for myself and perhaps the next breaking fad:

Even on a completely overcast,  rainy day my freakishly light blue eyes have to be covered when dilated (look closely and you can see the tiny ring of blue). These disposable UV blockers really work with the shape of my face; I think you will be seeing them on the Milan runways next season.


On the way to the eye doctor a guy backed into my car; I mean, we were on a one-way street, he stopped, put his car in reverse and backed right into me despite my frantic honking.
There was no damage, but what the heck?
He claimed he didn't see me (or apparently my entire freaking CAR).
The doctor commented that a lot of accidents do happen in his parking lot because he is an eye doctor after all, but it actually wasn't in his parking lot.
Do these insane things only happen to me or am I just the only one to admit it?

Speaking of crazy, I took this picture three days ago.

These beautiful blooms were in the midst of naked trees and brush.
They look like something in the azalea/ mountain laurel family which are spring and summer flowers respectively.
Does anyone know if there is an autumn blooming version?
Mayhaps it just bloomed late.
Or had enough energy for a second blooming.
Or didn't get the winter memo.
Regardless of how it was heartening to see this last burst of life.
 
Spontaneous generation has been disproven for centuries, but I can understand why it seemed so reasonable for millennia.
Last week I bagged up all of my trash to go out and then got distracted by something -probably shiny- so it sat in the kitchen. Two days there were tiny flies buzzing around alerting me to my oversight.
It is winter, the doors and windows are closed and there were no flies just 2 days earlier.
Where did these freaking flies come from?
Took the trash out, but the flies remained so being proactive I bought some fly strips.
They are ugly, but effective.
The directions say pull the cord and unwind the strip like a ribbon which sounds easy enough. I don't know what kind of ribbon is familiar to those direction writers because it was all stuck together and then a crazy tube and then in my hair. After 15 minutes more than it probably should have taken my fly strip was ribbon-like and hanging. Despite the difficult installation it did indeed catch all of my magically appearing flies and has been properly disposed of in a trash bag  that went immediately to the curb.

The Browse and Buy last weekend was at the Catonsville Historical Society again this year.  Arriving so early on Saturday that I was locked out of the building where NikCo was set up, I took the chance to wander the grounds.

Last year I only went around the side and saw the giant railroad crossing sign, but I went all the way around to the back where there is a nature walk.
This cool, old rail runs to right before the start of the trail.
I love how it looks like the track has been abandoned and nature is reclaiming the space with plants and rocks.
Wait...
What is going on with that one rock at the end?

Now THAT is random.

some random Friday thoughts

We have discussed how I talk to myself even more now that I spend so much time alone in the studio. It has escalated to arguments.
This morning I was choosing a purple tank top to wear under my cardigan (how AWESOME is it that it is cool enough for a cardigan?). Obviously I have more than one -because, purple- and I said out loud Do you want sequins today?

At which point I responded -out loud-
Of course I want sequins. What kind of stupid question was that?
The scariest part?
I was actually indignant with myself.
Do you think I need to get out of the studio a wee bit more often?







Do you remember that i was putting together a silent auction for the Soroptomist Anniversary and Awards Dinner?
Wait, did i even tell you that?
Well, i had the opportunity to organize and stage a silent auction for the first time.
It was quite the experience.
There were 30 items, many of which were baskets or vignettes that i designed. It was a very different way to utilize my creativity. I liked doing it, but am glad it is only once a year.

Last month I was having a conversation about dreams -no, not with myself; I just can't remember with whom I was speaking- because I remember my dreams every day, which is sometimes very cool and sometimes not so much.
Anyhoo, during this conversation I realized that I have never had one of the most common dreams: that I can fly. Everyone else in the room had, but as hard as I tried I couldn't remember even one time that I had dreamed about flying without mechanical help.
So last week I dreamed that I was at a museum/movie theater/mall/science center/school and if I needed to get quickly from one place to another i'd fly instead of running. A few other people were flying too, with wing suits or special capes, but I could just naturally fly.
Oddly, i can still remember exactly how it felt to fly -kind of like swimming, but different- so i have caught myself a few times recently  thinking I should just fly up to the library.

A few random posts ago i posited that a true football fanatic would drive an RV with goal posts on the front.
I'd like to add that if you turn your trucklette into a giant purple shark, you also qualify.





I recently had KFC and the colon box is no longer being used.
 Do you think someone finally realized?

My stove has been a source of deep consternation since i moved 7.5 years ago. Yes, it is an apartment stove, but it is from like the Korean War Era and is an odd size -19 inches- that they don't even make anymore. The oven is so small i use quarter cookie sheets and 8X8 casseroles. Cooking, which i love to do, is a chore.
In May i finally asked my landlord for a new one because the oven has started to act up, but no new stove yet. A few weeks ago it simply would not heat up. The pilot light was going fine and i could hear the gas turn on, but nothing was catching so i banged on the center fire pipe in frustration with the closest metal implement i could find (a ladle in case you were wondering).
Good news: i didn't blow up.
PSA: don't bang on the center fire pipe of a gas stove that is turned on because that is simply dangerously dumb.
So after not blowing up i asked my landlord again for a new stove and it seems that there is a small chance that i might actually get one.
For those of you who have listened to me whine for years about my stove, but haven't seen it and think that mayhaps i am exaggerating about the suckage, here:

triple tigers

okay... they aren't really tigers.
This week I have been kittysitting a trio of tabby brothers:

Walter is super social and wants MORE TREATS every second of his life.

Jake is the smallest and really playful.

Zack is the least social with new people; I was warned that I might not ever see him.

This is how they line up on the tree for treats every single time: Walter on the top, Jake in the middle and Zack someplace in the back close enough that I knew he was there, but not close enough to touch.


Since they are cats I am not staying at the house, just going over every day and spending some time with them.
Normally our schedule is treats, playing, check water and clean litter boxes, play some more, treats again and then catnip before I leave.

If you are trying to play with/exercise three cats at once, laser pointer is the way to go.

All three of them were interested and I could make sure everyone had a turn.

It is fascinating to watch their behavior and try to guess who is going to attack next based on body language. They always set themselves up in a circle like pack hunters, but never attack at once.
Honestly, I could do this for hours and I think they could too. A few times we played until someone was breathing hard (I think it was Walter) or until all three of them had finally flopped over to be laying on their sides instead of crouched.

The only weird thing about the laser game was that Zack kept looking at me.
Not at my hand, not at the laser pointer, not in my general direction, AT me.
He would suddenly just look me right in the eyes, like I know you are doing this; i'm playing along because it is fun.
Unnerving.


There are lots of other toys that I've tried all week, but none of them engender the interest of the laser pointer, though Jake is quite fond of the feathered bell thing on a stick.

He'd catch it in his claws and then chew on the string trying to liberate it from the stick.

Smart kitty.

The second or third night he shocked me by jumping through the air to attack it.

You can tell that I wasn't expecting it by where I have the camera aimed.

This kitty was getting serious air; it looked like Air Jaws.

Even once I knew to point the camera higher he still managed to shock me by launching himself through the air at the toy and INTO me.

As I am getting ready to leave there is another round of treats and then I put some catnip on the middle layer of the kitty tree.
Interestingly, Walter -who loves treats more than he loves air- is not at all interested in the nip.
Jake has both eaten some and left it alone on different nights.
Anti-social Zack?
Totally a nip fiend.
I mean he is ALL ABOUT the catnip.
[When I put that together with his skittishness I imagine him in the basement, under a couch listening to Phish or Dashboard Confessional and writing somber poetry.]
In fact, if I have some catnip in my hand he will cozy right up to me and let me pet him.
The brothers' humans come home tomorrow night. I'll miss them -- not enough to adopt my own cats mind you, but still it has been a fun week.

MENTAL MORSEL: invented in 1960, lasers were top secret military technology. Now they are shaped like blue plastic mice and sold at PetSmart.

Public Service Announcement: This household uses a brand of kitty litter I haven't tried before: Tidy Cat. Let me tell you people, it is a freaking miracle. When you walk into the house you don't even know that a cat lives there, much less three of them. If you have cats, you might wanna consider the Tidy Cat.

Unnecessary but Relevant LOLcat:

a little Friday randomness

I reached into the drawer at work to grab a marker to change a sign. After using the red and the blue ones I went to put them back and realized the box was not in rainbow order. Immediately I dumped them out and made it right.
Made it right?
hmmmmm...
I'm not compulsive about everything, but sets of coloring implements must be in rainbow order. Must. Be. How else would I be able to find the exact color I need instantly? Today is the first time I really realized i'm compulsive about it.

 

Goofy wears Goofy slippers.

 

Really.

The state flower of Maryland is the Black-eyed Susan which I have always considered to be a more serious version of daisies.

I took this picture two weeks ago because July and August is the peak season for Black-eyed Susans in Maryland.
MENTAL MORSEL: Since The Preakness is run in May, the blanket of flowers that is draped over the winner is not made from Maryland Black-eyed Susans; in past years they have been brought in from other states or are yellow daisies with the middles painted black. 

How come you can sit in a store all alone for hours and as soon as a customer walks in you have to piddle?

Street performers and buskers make me happy and I have a special affinity for living statues.

Today's Public Service Announcement:
Do not -for any reason- grab the barrel of a curling iron that is turned on; it is hot, people.
BTW, if -for any reason- you do grab the barrel of a curling iron that is turned on not only should you run cold water on it, submerge your hand in an ice bath for 5-10 minutes and it won't blister. Don't ask me how I know or why I am bringing it up today.

stick with the delicious brekkie

My body is very good about letting me know what it needs.
If all I can think about is bananas I know I have to find some potassium. Gatorade is sugar, peanuts is salt, beef is iron, and so on.
I'm sure it would surprise you to learn that my body can be stubborn.
And insistent.
Sometimes I am in a situation that is less than optimal for complying with its cravings. Sometimes I am in completely the wrong place.
You know who doesn't care?
My body, that's who.
So when i am planning on treating myself to a nice working brunch with free internet and my body insists that we are gonna drop dead if we don't immediately consume red meat I might make questionable choices.

Today's Public Service Announcement:
There is a reason that you never hear anyone say, I could really go for a good steak; let's hit the Bob Evans.

Learn from my pain, people.

discovering a new place and a hiking PSA

Last week i was driving home on Main St in Ellicott City. There was a back-up because of a truck that didn't quite make a tight turn and was stuck across the road.
Great.
I took a handy available left turn onto a road i've never taken before, intending to circle around the accident and cut back down to Main St before the river.
Good plan, but this road didn't go that way. Instead, it climbed up the side of a hill, winding and winding and winding until i was high above the town. It was a sunny afternoon so instead of worrying about traffic and the thwarted detour i decided to explore instead.
I had never been in this part of the county; heck, i didn't even realize that civilization went that far up the hill. I thought the town ended after a few blocks on that side of Main St because it looks like nothing but hills and forest.
Nope.
The road forked, then that road forked, then there was a T stop, then that road forked, then there was a super creepy state park with the ruins of a Women's Facility -whatever that means- surrounded by a barbed wire fence, then another fork. At each of the forks one side led to a dead end.
 I could see some newer housing developments higher on the ridge, but no road to get there. There was another housing development with a road running through it, but not down the hill. Basically the road i was on was the only route in and out of this area; if it was blocked there would be no way out.
The road finally ended.
I mean it just ended.
But i was next to a lovely little stream so i got out to look around.

After some climbing and searching i realized this area must be the back edge of some undeveloped section of Patapsco State Park. There was no fencing so i explored for a while before breaking out the camera to play with some zoom settings.


It was nice to have a wee adventure and find a new place so close to home. Plus it was really great to be outside without needing to be totally bundled up; Spring is on the way.
Most of the time when i find fun places to explore i am dressed inappropriately, but unbelievably i didn't have on a skirt this time. Not that bare legs has ever stopped me, but it was nice that the inevitable slips and slides and run-ins with rude, grabby tree branches encountered jeans instead of skin.

 However, i would like to advise anyone who might be considering rock hopping next to stream in cute gold sparkle flats to rethink that choice. They are really, really not the correct footwear for this kind of thing. Really.

 

winter driving PSA

Don't do this:

on the highway, in a snow storm, with no windows cleaned off

1 thing i do NOT like about my job

... accidental electrocution.

Totally my fault, no permanent damage and the audience didn't even know it happened, but
OUCH!
A girl can put up with nearly anything for a vocation that she loves, but dang it that hurt.

Oh well... i got the feeling back in my hand so i guess it's all good.

Remember people, do not try to plug in and start a Jacob's ladder in the dark with a fiber optic lamp in your hand just because it looks better without the lights and you're trying to be slick; wires could be draped on transformers and a spark could jump right to you. That's bad.

Today's Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by Nikola Tesla and Show Adrenaline Anonymous.

oh my aching coccyx

You know that here in the Nikiverse i like to share wee nuggets of information with you that i've picked up along my daily path. I generally follow the creed Set a Good Example Whenever You Can; Otherwise, Act as A Graphic Warning.
Today's Public Service Announcement falls firmly in the latter category.
ATTENTION: Segways are much lighter than you think they are. Despite having a gyroscopic drive and boasting amazing stability, if you are going through an automatic door and said door automatically closes before you are all the way through and catches one tire, a Segway can indeed be flipped over. All the way over. Onto you.
That's bad.
Especially if said door is the main entrance of a museum and you happen to be wearing a staff uniform of said museum.
GOOD NEWS: Segways really are much lighter than you think, so it doesn't hurt too, too much when it flips and lands on you after you've hit the floor. Plus, they are light enough to easily be righted as you pop up and say I meant to do that; let me tell you a little about how gyroscopes work.
Every moment is a teaching moment here in the Nikiverse, people.

serious about proper beveraging

You know how much i love taking a jaunt in the golf cart when visiting my dad, but i have to admit that until recently i never really noticed that there were actually operating instructions on the steering wheel.

I was confused by the very first one, Read the warning label on the beverage holder panel before operating. I mean, how hard can it be to use a beverage holder?

Of course i turned my attention to the beverage holder which very alarmingly declared that DEATH OR SEVERE PERSONAL INJURY CAN RESULT FROM FAILURE TO FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS in all capital letters.
Well that's not good.
I never realized that i was taking my life into my hands by enjoying a Diet Coke while on neighborhood patrol.

oceans are made of drops

I'd like to believe that most people are interested in helping those around them; that in a world where we are constantly trying to Look Out For Number One we are also quietly looking out for others as well. That's why places like the Hunger Site, the Rainforest Site, the Child Health site, the Literacy Site, the Breast Cancer Site, the Animal Rescue Site and Free Rice exist.
Over Christmas i read about a guy who decided to give up his daily coffee and donate that money to a different charity every day; his journey is documented at Living Philanthropic and it gave me pause.
Could i do something like that?
I've been thinking, budgeting, researching and am heartened to see that there a lot of people in the blogosphere trying to make a difference, from Philanthroper which allows people to donate $1 a day to various place to Everyday Philanthropist who blogs all sorts of ways to be a giver.
 But what can a girl who works at a non-profit do?
I don't drink expensive coffee or eat out for lunch; there is no fat in my budget to be trimmed. I can't find $5 a day or even $1 a day.
But i still want to do something.
Even something little.
 I mean, even a tiny bit is more than nothing, right?
If I move a few things around in the budget, take a little cut here or there, certainly i can find 50 cents a day. Soooooo, i am putting the charity line item back in my budget at $15 a month. I'll post on my blog where the money is going to go every month so that if any of you have been wondering how you can make a difference with your two dollars, you'll have an easy suggestion.
Last week a friend and co-worker from Objects Found lost his battle with colon cancer. In honor of Tony, this month's donation will be going to the Susan Cohan Kasdas Colon Cancer Foundation. Donations of $5 and higher can be made right on that site; donations smaller than $5 can be dropped off at Objects Found. It might only be a drop in the bucket, but a bunch of drops make an ocean, right?

AWESOME!

Everyone can use a cheery thought now and again.
Last month the ladies over at Brave Girl's Club asked readers to send comments and pictures about things that they thought were AWESOME with the goal of getting 1000 awesome things listed. The response was amazing (one might even say that the response was awesome, but i won't do that to you) and they now have over 4000 comments of joy and blessings.
For Thanksgiving they took 100 of those comments and pictures and made a 7 and a half minute video. It will make you smile, though watch out for some heart string tuggers that might make you cry (the thankful grandma at 7:26 completely undid me) as well.
On the day of the initial post I was sick -no big surprise there- but it about a week before i knew just how sick i actually am so i was forcing myself to stay at work and get things done. I read the post during lunch, right after i had realized that i had goldfish crackers for my soup so i took a picture and sent it in.
You'll recognize my handwriting and signature purple post-its at 3:26. Enjoy the video and take a moment to think about whatever you think is AWESOME.

you really shouldn't peek

Whether its painting, sewing, scrapbooking or working in multi-media you really shouldn't look too hard at pieces when they are at an in-between stage. I was, as one friend described it, cutting big pieces of paper into small pieces of paper to make big pieces of paper (you need to imagine the slow head shaking and incredulous tone he used with a small eye roll to get the full effect) late one night last week and left some pieces drying in the studio. Bright and super early the next morning as i got ready for work i snapped on the light and my mostly asleep eyes were assaulted by this: Bwecha! Stripes, polka dots, greens, tans and candy corn? What the heck was i thinking last night?!? I just had to turn the light off and go about my day. The project -a collaged Thinking of You card featuring sheet mica and a paper fish- turned out lovely (why no, i don't have picture of it - why do you ask? you must think that i am organized or something; silly people), but i was reminded again rather forcibly to 1) not peek at weird in-between stages and 2) cover those stages up to not alarm my 6am self. I just remembered that even though i don't have a picture of aforementioned card you could see it at Objects Found. And then you could buy it.

kinda disturbing testimonial

Do you ever find yourself in the 24-hour grocery/drug store/megalamart, late at night, aimlessly wandering the aisles, absorbing all of the pop detritus of our society?
I do.
I have a serious weakness for the 24-hour CVS and Walgreens.
They have everything you can imagine.
 Really, everything; except for the one thing i was looking for, of course. I needed a new phone for my land line as the 2-phone/one-rings-in-but-one-calls-out/wait-the-wall-cord-is-damaged-so-i-have-to-hold-it-in situation was not working for me anymore, but alas there were none to be found that weren't cordless (i don't like cordless phones. Why? beats me; i just don't) so instead i found myself just browsing up and down the aisles, letting my eyes dance over the colors and shapes while i hatched a phone plan.
Turning the corner of an endcap i was stopped by this
What is that?!?
Let's remember that i don't have television, so anything marked As Seen on TV has indeed never been seen by me on TV. I read the packaging, snickered and walked away.
Then, 2 aisles later, i walked back.
You see, i live in an old house.
I have slow drains.
 At least once a year, sometimes twice, i do the liquid drain chemical gakiness to keep them flowing. That stuff can't be good for my ancient pipes. It can't be good for the environment. It can't be good for me to even be in the same room with it.
What if the TurboSnake works?
What if it can keep my drains running without chemicals?
 Isn't that worth a try?
Isn't that worth $10?
Yes it is.
I bought the TurboSnake.
Technically, i bought 2, since there are 2 sizes in the pack. Okay. There they are. Heavy-duty wrapped wire with velcro on the end. Really? What was i thinking? You thread the velcro end down the drain until you meet resistance, then you do this twirly motion and then you pull it out.
 Okay.
I tried the smaller sink one and hooked some stray hair and stuff, but was mostly unimpressed.
On to the larger tub size. I tried a few times that ended in frustration. No mater which way i tried, i couldn't get the dang thing to thread. My tub is ancient and fully enclosed so there is no way to know which direction the plumbing runs. But you know how failure just stiffens my resolve. On trial #6 i finally found the correction direction (straight back, then down, then back again - weird) and threaded the TurboSnake down about a foot and a half, did the magic twirling and started to pull it back out. There was a bit of resistance and i could see some hair on the velcro end as it reached the drain, but as i pulled the snake out, more stuff kept coming with it. And more stuff. And more stuff. It was alarming, to say the least.
  Jumping Jehoshaphat!
Look at that nastiness.
Remember, my drain wasn't even clogged, just running a little slow. Since then, it has been draining like a champ.
I am simultaneously pleased with my purchase and disgusted by its use.

yet another note to self

The pharmacy closes early on both weekend days. You wouldn't think so, but it does. Not knowing that info means that, hypothetically, you might not be able to pick up your prescription. Which means that, hypothetically, you could be without your vertigo meds for over 24 hours. Good luck with that - hypothetically.

FYI

Just in case you were wondering if you should feed that gator You shouldn't. I am in Florida for the weekend. Maybe there will be blog posts while i'm here; maybe i'll lay on the beach instead- who knows.