Thursday, April 12, 2012

flat out alarming

Picking around random antique stores and junk shops leads one to encounter all manner of wackiness.
Generally, i am in favor of wackiness and the unexpected, but there should be a limit of how many flat out alarming things can be in a given area.
How else will we hold on to our sanity?
Case in point:
I am walking along, minding my own business when suddenly i am confronted by a clown - and not just any clown, mind you:
A creepy clown doll that looks like it was kidnapped from the normal dolls in the middle of the night, dressed in rags, painted with blood and forced to play cursed bongos to lead all of the other toys to their certain, inevitable doom.
Someone made that for children.
Someone bought that for children.
Do they hate children?
All one can do is screech, do a quick that-thing-is-freaking-me-out dance, poke at it a little, take a picture and move on.
No problemo.
... not even four feet away I was suddenly faced with this:
What the heck IS this?
It looks like Santa Claus.
But what is going on with his MOUTH?
Is it even legal for this to be in a public place?
Ohhhh... it is supposed to be a birdhouse.
A birdhouse?
Like some bird is gonna be like Hey, living inside that fat, old elf's head seems like a great idea. I'm pretty sure that generally birds avoid flying into predator's mouths.
Then again, it is ceramic so mayhaps it isn't meant to be used practically.
Which can only mean that someone thought a disturbing Santa's head birdhouse was decorative.
Either object would have been horrific alone, but confronted by both in a span of 3 minutes nearly set me off of my feed. Really, i can't even tell which is worse.

There should be a law, is all i'm saying.


Douglas said...

Talk loudly into the clowns mouth....reminds me of a obscene nome I once saw.

Anonymous said...

o.m.g. those are the creepiest! you know, the longer i look at that clown - it looks like someone painted up a Mrs. Beasley doll! How could someone do such a blasphemoush thing? It's.. It's... It's just so WRONG!
Santa birdhouse? i think someone forgot to take their meds....and was lonely....