the glacial pace of justice

I was summoned to jury duty today.
sigh... jury duty... again...
Honestly, i have been summoned more times to jury duty than anyone else i've ever met. I know that it is a random system, but something about my name or address or soundex number is very attractive because the moment i am eligible, i am called.
Of course, i can never serve on a criminal trial having been the victim of a violent crime (mugged at gunpoint in college) and i can't serve on a civil trial that lasts more than one day because of my job. Basically, i keep getting summoned, but never picked.
sigh...
I don't really mind going because i truly believe that it is my civic duty to participate in the legal process, but DANG is it boring. No one tells you that being called to jury duty means waiting and waiting and waiting, all day long.
 I saw people in the assembly room that hadn't even brought a book with them.
How ever would you survive without a book?
 I don't want that to happen to any of you, so let me share this Public Service Announcement as i walk you through the sheer tedium that is A Day at Jury Duty.
In Baltimore County you need to report to the assembly room by 8:30am for petit jurors.
Don't forget to leave plenty of time to drive rush-hour traffic into the county seat, park in one of the 3 county owned garages, walk to the courthouse and go through security.
 BTW, you can't bring scissors or cameras with you; sheriffs will take them away.
Once in the assembly room, find a seat and wait to check in.
And wait.
 And wait.
Now would be an excellent time to read the pamphlets you've been given about the legal process and your job as a juror.
Once your group is called, stand in line and wait to check in.
And wait.
At the first station you get your work pass and have your parking ticket validated (you did remember to bring it with you, right?).
Then go wait in another line to sign your name and get your jury allowance.
Then go back to your seat and wait.
And wait.
And wait. After all they have to check in hundreds people.
A nice jury office assistant will eventually come over the PA to welcome you all and give you a basic layout of the assembly space and an overview of the day's proceeding (how many trials there are, etc).
Then you wait.
An informative DVD from the 80s then plays explaining everything you already read about in the pamphlet.
Then you wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Eventually, they will start calling numbers.
If your number is called -and it isn't necessarily in numeric order that they are called, so listen close- you line up to go to the court.
Once in the court you wait and wait and wait.
 The nature of the trial is explained to you. Then the selection process starts. The judge asks a bunch of questions like Do you know the defendant? or Have you ever been the victim of a violent crime? or Are you related to a police officer? and if the answer is yes to any question you have to stand up, state your name and selection number. After all of the questions are answered, the judge then goes back through and asks specific jurors specific questions about their answers. The attorneys go back and forth tossing jurors until they have the 12 or 13 that they can agree upon. Often a prospective juror is dismissed without any reason being given; they tell you not to take it personally, but really, who wouldn't take it personally?
I guess that the trial would then start; i've never made it that far.
But let's say that your number is not called in the first round. In the 6 times i've been summoned and the 3 times i've actually had to go to the assembly room, i've only made it upstairs once.
Back in the assembly room, you continue to wait.
And wait.
And wait.
By this time it is too close to lunch to start another selection process, so you break for lunch.
Today, i was smart enough to bring my lunch with me so i moved to the cantine and ate. Then back out to the quiet room and my book to wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Last time, we were dismissed after lunch cause they had all the jurors they needed. Today, they did a second round of number calling, lining up and filing up to the courtrooms. Still, Niki's number -332- was not requested.
sigh...
You know what time it is: time to wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Finally, they announce that all of the jury positions have been filled for the day and you can go.
HAZZAH!
I would never try to get out of jury duty because of the responsibility and civic duty, etc, but man, i wish there was a way to speed this process up a bit. I don't want the Queen of Hearts just chopping off people's head, but come on people, let's get a move on already.

Quick Quotes 4

We were walking out to the van early Friday morning to go to our shows when we spotted something on the plaza. It was a drawing in black of a walrus ummmm... what? It was a nicely done, cartooney walrus. It was not there the day before. What was he doing there? How? Who? WHY? TM Amy looked at it and said Someone must have done a drive-by walrusing. This is my life, people. Really.

What is bigger than "epic"?

Somewhat recently (in the last year) i have become acquainted with the band Muse (no, not acquainted with the actual band, silly - their music). I've liked some stuff, loved some stuff, been apathetic about some stuff. I appreciated them for the most part, but didn't feel compelled to spend discretionary funds on them. That is, until i got The Resistance out of the library last month. HOLY CRAP! I love, love, love this album. Love it with a burning passion of love. I almost crashed my work van listening to it on an overnight in New Jersey - no joke. The odd blend of musical styles speaks to my own eclectic musical tastes. Some of the tempos are exactly my natural internal rhythms. I'm sure you've all experienced the sensation of instantly connecting with a piece of music; it is unexplainable, but profound. What made the connection even better was that the CD came with a "making of" DVD. The only thing i love more than music is musicians. The process of creation astounds me; i hear music inside of my head and even dream in music, but lack the skills by which to bring that sound into the world. Watching this band's process was amazing. The CD is richly layered and symphonic and it was cool to get a glimpse of how it came together. I was talking to fTM Matt about it and he said, Muse doesn't do anything short of epic. You have to see the Absolution live DVD. They are really a live band. I was frankly dubious. I mean, this music is really, really layered and produced. I found it hard to believe that anyone could do justice to it live. But Matt is a musician himself and i trust his opinions on music. So i looked for the DVD at the library, but they didn't have it and you know me - i stick to my budget and don't buy anything i haven't already read, heard or seen. Oh well. Then, about 4 weeks ago, I heard that Muse was coming in concert to DC. I was tempted, but really didn't want to go to down to the Patriot Center during rush hour after work. Plus, concert tickets are not in the budget. Oh well. Then, 3 weeks ago, I found out that there was a Baltimore concert date. It was right downtown, less than 10 blocks from my office. I've never gone to a major concert venue by myself, but i have to do at least one new thing per month this year so i bit the bullet and took money from savings and bought a ticket. It was only 15 days until the concert so there weren't a lot of seats left to choose from so i opted for cheap and nose-bleed, but dead center. Wednesday after work i changed my clothes, drove to the arena, found parking and walked into the venue by myself. It was a bit unnerving as i am not a big fan of going to public places alone, but i wasn't gonna miss this opportunity (even if it meant braving that scary clown by the elevators). The stage was pretty stripped down with three huge speaker towers in the middle and 2 elevated wings (not pictured). In this picture, it is set up for the opening act, Silversun Pickups. They were very enthusiastic. I can't report much about the music besides that it was loud. Someone needs to step away from the distortion pedals and lay off the reverb. 'nuff said. Roadies broke down and removed their instruments and then set up and tested four mikes - 2 on the stage and 1 on each wing platform. Okay, the guitarist and bassist will obviously be moving around. I love watching stage setup; as a performer I know how much of the flow of the show depends on your preparation. Time passed and no drums appeared. hmmmm... I kept watching and waiting for drums, but nothing. I texted Matt about the proceedings and at one point he wrote, Let me know if it is a. epic or b. the most epic thing you have ever seen. Epic, huh? I don't know how it is gonna be epic when there isn't even a drum kit yet, i thought. Eventually i saw some drum pieces wheeled out in between, but sort of behind the speaker towers. Okay, maybe the center tower isn't really a tower and it will raise or lower for the drums to be pushed out. Wait, are those timpanis? More waiting. Still no more instruments appear. Wait, is that a tiny light behind a tower? Wait, is that a really tiny light inside of a tower. Huh? Lights go down in the arena and the crowd starts screaming. The 3 towers light up like buildings and then video is projected on them of people walking up stairs, like business drones going to work. (all pics are crappy, but were mostly taken so that i could remember what happened; clicking to make them bigger will help with some of them). Hmmmmm... maybe they aren't really speaker towers, i think just a split second before the covers drop to reveal the band inside of them SQUEAL! Each member had his own tower with video projection above and below. Cool doesn't really capture it. They opened with "Uprising" which is the first hit from this album and followed with "Resistance" which is the current song on the radio. It was a bold move; most bands save hits for partway through the first set, the end of the last set or even the encore. Not these guys. They pulled no punches and opened with what people came to hear. The only other band i've ever seen do that is U2 (who Muse opened for a few years ago; maybe they picked up some good tour tips). At some point the towers lowered so that the guitarist and bassist could move out to their front mikes or go over to the wings I owe Matt a huge apology for ever doubting him. The music, the sound, the lights, the effects- everything was truly epic. There was no sense of moderation or holding back. The band gave everything they had on every song and the show was designed to keep you breathless. Even though this how for away i was from the stage i felt like i was in the middle of a colossal event. I had considered getting floor tickets, but decided against it since being 5'3'' means that all you see is the center of some dude's back if you can't manage to get to the front row. I'm kinda glad that i went for the high seats now cause it afforded me a view of the entire spectacle. The singer not only plays guitar, but he is a piano virtuoso so at one point all the lights go out and when they come back on the band is situated on their three towers, except now Matthew's had a baby grand piano (or maybe it was a grand and i was just really far away) that he played for 2 songs. Did i mention that the inside of the lid was wired with lights that were triggered by the keys so that they flashed as he played? Yep. And later, the drummer had some bright flashers that were triggered by the toms so they activated as he played. Speaking of the drummer, at one point he and the bassist did a great rhythm breakdown together. It was musically fabulous, but it was the spectacle that nearly undid me: Chris the bassist is back to back with Dom the drummer, playing as the drum kit revolves and the tower raises and lowers with color real-time video of them playing above and below. Really, people, my little head almost popped right off its shoulders. And for those of you who need even more stimulation, HUGE eyeball balloons were released into the audience where they batted around until one by one they popped, releasing clouds of red confetti. I've been to some really, really good concerts, but this was superlative. I really don't know what is bigger than epic, but the Muse show was whatever that word might be. When i got home that night i was so drained that i fell into bed, but was so keyed up that i couldn't sleep. I assume that it is the feeling that causes people to use drugs. I think every nerve in my body was tingling. You know that i am frugal, but honestly if i found out that Muse was playing again anywhere in the vicinity of me, i would pay to go there and see this show again. I might even consider anything east of the Mississippi to be in the vicinity of me. The only drawback of the entire experience would be that after this work the next day and the real world in general seemed a bit dull.

why did it have to be clowns?

I went to the arena in Baltimore last night for a concert (epic details in the next post) and each level of the parking garage had a color and theme so that you could remember where you had left your car. The themes were all things that could reasonably be happening at the arena. How did i end up on the clown level? This greets you at the elevator. It was almost enough to make me want to get back in my car and move to another level. I never used to be afraid of clowns, but honestly, the older i get the more freaked out i am by them.

sigh of relief

You know what it is?
Not February any more.
ahhhhhh...
I just feel better knowing that i can write March on things. Though not the worst by a long shot, this last month did dish up work issues, intestinal issues and a blizzard.
How did i celebrate surviving yet another Crapuary?
I had a massage yesterday.
And not just any massage: it was a free-to-me, gift massage. I didn't think that massage could get any better until i had one on the first day of March that i didn't even have to pay for.
Super-duper thanks to the North Carolina branch of the clan: that was an awesome present.

Quick Quotes 3

TM Amy in a sorrowful tone:

Just eat my last broccoli stalk. Please.

Being the Boss

I almost fired someone yesterday. I've only ever fired one person before and if you've been lurking here in the glitter bushes for a while, you might remember that it was very upsetting for me. I am an educator. I am a trainer. I want people to succeed. I am distressed when people fail; at some level i feel like their failure means that somehow i have failed them. Anyhoo, in this particular circumstance multiple mistakes had been made and personal attitude was bad; I was at my wit's end with this team member. It had become obvious to me that this particular failing was indeed not my failing, but rather the failing of the individual. Monday night i thought and thought and thought about what to do. I contemplated it. I evaluated it. I pro-and-conned it. I lingered over it. I tried to balance my gut feelings, my emotions, my intuition, my experience, my team's feelings, past events - you name it; it was all in the swirling pot of my brain. Even after i lay in bed trying to sleep the situation played through my head. It was 4 hours before i could even fall asleep. Tuesday morning i had my conclusion - a drastic course of action was the way to go. I talked to my boss; he and i hashed and rehashed the situation some more. The fastest, cleanest, easiest solution was to fire the person. The meeting was set. Cards were laid on the table, the hatchet was raised and at the last possible second, i pulled the punch. (nothing like multiple, totally unrelated metaphors to muddy up a sentence - yikes; sorry) Instead, an action plan was devised and put in to place. The team member left the meeting appropriately scared, but still gainfully employed (or as gainfully as you get in non-profit). I don't think they have any idea know how close it was to going the other way. After the meeting my boss looks at me and says Well, i wasn't expecting that. Yeah. No kidding. Neither was I. How did that happen? How did i go into the meeting with one resolve and then do something totally different? At first i was mad at myself. But as my boss and I debriefed, i realized that I didn't chicken out. It wasn't that i was unwilling or afraid to fire the team member, instead it was that during the conversation another option presented itself. Instead of being locked into my own course i saw another way. Last night as i thought about it more (cause that's what i do) the happier i became with the new solution. Yes, i was totally ready to fire this person, but now they have a chance at redemption. Now, they know that this is their last chance at redemption. Now, if they can't straighten up and fly right they will know the outcome. Now, it won't be a surprise if the hammer drops. Now, no one can say that i didn't really try to help them succeed. It was the right thing to do. I wonder how often the right thing is NOT the easy thing? During a much needed and well deserved bubble bath even later last night it struck me again how the thing about being the boss that no one ever prepares you for is that you hold part of a person's life in your hands. You hold a chunk of their financial stability and possibly part of their self-esteem and self-image right there in your hand. It's right there, people - you gotta hold it like a wee glass egg. In the hiring process i think about how each person that i reject has to continue their search; i am aware of that power and try to be gentle with it. I hate, hate to write those NO letters to people that i've interviewed because i can't help but to imagine what it would feel like to read it. But firing someone is really different. You aren't leaving them in their crappy status quo; you are creating a new, crappier status. If you fire someone, you instantly take away their paycheck. You take away their ability to pay the rent. Or buy groceries. You make them unemployed. For a lot of people, how many weeks does it take for unemployed to turn into moving home with my parents or homeless? Obviously, i realize that if someone is fired as opposed to down-sized or laid-off they did something to deserve it and really they are taking away their own paycheck, but you are the one who signs the paper. They may have earned the firing squad, but you are the one who has to load the bullet and pull the trigger. Damn, people - that is a lot of responsibility. After 9 years i would have thought that the weight of that responsibility would have eased a bit. I'm not as timid about large command decisions as i once was, but they really don't get any easier. I thought for sure they would get easier. I am no longer afraid that my actions (or inactions) will have catastrophic effects or that any mistake on my part will wreak untold devastation. I am more confident and answers come to me faster and with less mental anguish (yep, there actually use to be MORE mental anguish), but i can't say that it is easier. I like being the boss. I like the creative freedom over my program. But i have to say that it makes me uneasy to think that i can change someone's life with one sentence. But maybe that is the way it should to be. Maybe I'm supposed to feel uneasy so that i am never hasty in using that power. [when i was still mad at myself yesterday i said I'm such a big marshmallow and my boss replied No, you have just the right amount of marshmallow. it made me smile] I can honestly say, however, that i'm glad i didn't consciously think too much about the whole too-much-power-over-someone-else on Monday night while i wrestled with solutions to this specific situation. I'd STILL be trying to figure out what to do. Here's hoping it all works out.

new food experiment

Ahhhhh... food... i remember when i was eating various sorts of solid food and not just Saltines and Special K and raisins cause that's what my recently virus-attacked GI system can handle. Someday -perhaps tomorrow- i'll have food real food again. Anyhoo, last week -before the unpleasantness- i continued to do new things by making a dinner of completely new-to-Niki food. I had a coupon for Morning Star products and found these Asian Veggie Patties on sale - hey i am happy to try new things when it costs 87 cents for 4 patties or less than 22 cents a piece. The egg noodles were from the Dollar Tree and i wanted to try them cause i love Ramen noodles, but they are crazy high in fat and these claimed to be fat free. Plus, at a dollar for 4 servings or 25 cents a piece how could i go wrong? AND, they are made from duck eggs - how cool is that? Duck eggs would certainly be new. Soooo... i made my stir-fry base from shredded broccoli -a new technique for me- and added some chunk broccoli and carrots and snow peas -not at all new; i just like them- and sauced it up with soy, chili paste and a new chili sauce. Then i cooked up the noodles and added them to the pan. The veggie patties got nuked because that really is the best way to cook them and i served it all up on my beloved vintage Dragon and Phoenix china Gotta say - it was yummy. The amount i cooked easily covered me for dinner and lunch the next day; factoring in the veggies and sauce this new experience cost me $2.70 or $1.35 per serving. I wish all of this years' new experiences could be this tasty and cheap. The only drawback was that the patties were a little salty and the stir-fry sauce was a little spicy so i was left with the need for a touch of something sweet and tongue cleansing - like a lemon sorbet. Or some almond cookies. Or even a fortune cookie. But alas, there were no such things to be found in the pantry. I substituted the closest thing available a 100 calorie pack of mini shortbreads. Wow. That is a far, far cry from fortune cookies, for Pete's sake. You know we are all about authenticity and classiness here in the Nikiverse.

Ode to a Saltine

sweating, freezing, shaking;
losing vital fluids from every orifice imaginable;
haven't eaten in 24 hours;
pepto turning my insides unnatural colors;
but then there is you - my darling Saltine.
crispity, salty, life-saving cracker-
nothing tastes as good as you.

icicles

One thing i've been enjoying about this winter season are the icicles. TM Amy and i were talking about the fact that there seem to be not only an abundance of icicles this year, but that they were staying around longer. It is nice to see groupings along building fronts that look like the way kids draw icicles in pictures. I also really like when you find surprise icicles, like the ones under my neighbor's steps or over my bathroom window. So far, my favorite has been the icicle that formed around just one half of this wrought iron heart on the fire escape. I'm enjoying the beauty of the crystal clear ice, but i will admit that i wish this one would stop dripping on my head!