Do you realize that is already October?
Do you realize that it is almost the second week of October?
Two of my six months of The Plan are gone. That is one third, one third of my time gone.
Where did it go?
Yes, i've designed and created a second jewelry line and staged a pretty awesome booth at my first craft fair and turned the corner mentally on being self-employed instead of unemployed and helped a charity auction and driven across the entire continent, but somehow it didn't feel like enough laying in my bed trying to set priorities for today.
My Etsy store is supposed to reopen in 5 days - that's FIVE DAYS INCLUDING TODAY.
I had myself convinced that this was folly, that i am going to run out of time and money, that it makes more sense to find some boring, stable job with health insurance and a 401K.
What do you do when you are afraid and self-defeating?
I allowed myself to roll around in the waters of despair for about an hour, got up, did some crunches, meditated, prayed, put on music i love, ate moni cheese and looked for a quote in my commonplace book (since i havn't changed the Glimpses in the sidebar for about 3 weeks now; did i mention that i have 39 posts in the blog queue waiting to be finished?) to add a little perspective to the day. I found what i was looking for from Christopher Paolini's Eldest:
'You can do nothing about your condition, and you'll only make yourself feel worse. Live in the present, remember the past, and fear not the future, for it doesn't exist and never shall. There is only now.'