Monday, March 31, 2008

A Red Box "problem"

I thought it seemed weird when you could start renting DVDs at McDonald's. It seemed so... random. And for only a dollar it seemed somehow... sketchy. Then i started to see the Red Boxes in other places, like convenience stores. In fact, they seemed to be springing from the ground. I'm a little surprised we don't have one in the front lobby of the museum at this point. Over Easter I was really sick. I laid on my new-to-me loveseat eating Wheat Thins and watching movies that I had borrowed from Justin, occasionally drifting off to sleep. I watched Legend - both the US release and the far better Director's Cut (though i do so love the Tangerine Dream soundtrack from the US edit) - and its bajillion special features, Tron and its never-ending special features (i think it was the 20th anniversary release or some such nonsense) and Madagascar with its special features. [Have i ever shared with you how it think the very, very best thing to come from DVDs isn't the better picture and sound, but the room for special features? I heart special features...] Eventually i had to drag my pathetic self to the store. I was out of juice, and you can't get well without juice. And soup. I needed soup. Now i'm sure that i'd noticed that there was a Red Box in my grocery store, but it had never really made an impact on me. But i was sick. And there was a promotional code to get a free rental. How could i turn down a promotional code? So i tried it. It was easy. And the right DVD really did pop out. Since i got a free rental, i felt it only right to pay for another movie. So i rented another one. And it was only a dollar - technically $1.06 with tax, but still. The next day i was a bit better, but still not really up to snuff so i got 2 more. Basically, in 24 hours i watched 4 more movies and all of their special features - Enchanted, Nancy Drew, Bourne Ultimatum and Blades of Glory. (That would be 8 movies and extras in about 36 hours for those of you counting at home) It was a good way to pass the time while i was unwell and it was a bargain considering that all of the Red Box movies were ones i didn't see in the theater. Then this weekend rolled around. I stopped by the store to get some fresh fruit and visited the Red Box on the way out. The movie i really wanted (3:10 to Yuma) wasn't available so i took Transformers instead. ummmmmm, wait a second... i'd already seen that; i really, really liked it, but definitely saw it in the theaters. What's going on here? Yesterday when i returned it i found myself walking to the car with The Simpsons in my hand. crap - i might be outta control After i moved i couldn't afford cable. Once the budget opened up a bit i decided NOT to get it cause though i miss certain shows I really enjoy the time i have found without TV. The budget tightened up again and cable was no longer an option, but i toyed with NetFlix - it was cheaper and less of a time commitment than TV. But i am the kind of person that has to watch something new right away. I knew that every time a disc arrived that evening's plans would be swept aside,so decided not to do it. Now i have been charmed, lured, seduced by Red Box. It is so easy. And cheap. And available -BOTH of the grocery stores i shop at have one inside and both are 24 hours so i don't have to stand outside of the McD's in the cold, exposed at 3am. crap, crap, crap. You know how much i love movies. I had resigned myself to not being able to afford going to the theater. Now i am considering whether i can put a "Red Box" line item in my budget or just include it in "personal spending." This is not good, people; not good at all. You have to help me with my new fascination. Together we can keep it from becoming an addiction. Tell me how the red boxes are manufactured by starving kids. Tell me about whatever evil empire owns them. Help me to just say NO. If you see me carrying one of the red DVD cases ask me about it, or just cut to the chase and tap me on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. (tap, Erin, tap - not HIT) It'll be okay. It'll all be okay. I appreciate your support in this. I'm gonna go now. I'm pretty tired. I donated blood an hour ago and am feeling like i could really use a nap. Or maybe when i return The Simpsons on my way home i'll pick up a movie from Red Box and chill on the NTM loveseat... CRAP

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