An open letter to today's physical education instructor

Dear Mr PE Teacher - Thanks for letting us use your room yesterday and today to inspire kids about Earth Day. Thanks for not pitching a fit, as many PE teachers do. Thanks for laughing about it and saying that its a nice day to be outside. Thanks for being helpful and finding us paper towels. There was one small problem, however. You, sir, are fine. In fact, I'd say you are super-fine; perhaps, even super-D-duper fine. Come on, you have to know how fine you are. You exercise for a living. You were probably a jock in college and the years since then have been good to you. Could you please NOT walk through the gym while I'm trying to talk about Chesapeake Bay conservancy? Could you avoid your own office? If you have to come into your own space while we're there, could you wear a bag over your head? And an over-sized sweat suit? Could you never smile that ridiculously dazzling grin? Could you not be so sweet and understanding with your students? Could you not talk to me with that hint of a Southern accent? I'm only human, dude. Professional or not, i'm not made of stone. Give a girl a break and take the day off next year when we come to your school. Please. Thank you. PS - Happy Earth Day, everybody.