Some things should remain buried forever

In going through Douglas' mother's house i found a lot of things. There was crystal and glass and china and linens. There were beautiful things like this lovely picture of his grandmother crazy things, like boxes and boxes of vintage stamps surreal things, like the silver Last Supper pill box and things that defy explanation, like the figural planter with bobbling pink parrot Unwrapping hundreds of dusty, grimy things wrapped in ancient newspaper it started to feel like Christmas morning at the house of the relatives that hate you. At one point I discovered that the matching urns on the sideboard had someone's ashes in them! By Friday night I felt like i had seen everything that Freakville had to offer; i mean once you've experienced this can there be any more surprise or shock left? Yes. Yes there can be. I was sitting in the bay window unwrapping scary surprise #600 when this peaked out at me I almost dropped it. A garden gnome was perhaps the most unlikely thing I could have imagined in this box. He was really disturbing. I mean, what is going on with his tongue??? AUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Obscene much? And as if that wasn't bad enough, check out this hiney What gnomiphile sculpted this travesty? And how did it end up with the Dresden china? There are some questions that i will never have answered. (and i kinda wish i never had to ask)