Over the last few years i've felt myself becoming stagnant.
I loved my job, but it didn't challenge me anymore and there was resistance to change from higher up, not to mention no funds to change anyway. I loved my friends, but so many of them were so far away that i felt isolated. I loved my art, but needed to be stretched. I wasn't completely discontented, but bored and stuck and floundering.
We know now that part of it was medical, but other parts weren't. I've been wanting change, growth, challenges to break me out of my comfortable box. My post about this week's quote is really about how all of that change seems to be happening at once and only some of it is in my control - be careful what you wish for, right?
So, in order to be less cryptic (i'm looking at you, Michael :->) here is a list of opportunities, goals, obstacles, deadlines that are swirling in my brain right now, in no particular order:
-2 members of my team were laid off
-we have to keep taking triple bookings
-my team is writing the new summer theater program
-my team is writing a new assembly program
-my team has been researching new classroom programs
-summer bookings are closed, but higher than i wanted them to be
-my entire department is being reorganized and reimagined
-i am on a committee to do a summer extravaganza of science
-the owner of Objects Found asked me for a new line of Spring cards, three weeks ago
-there is going to be a 2nd annual Catonsville art exhibition; due date for entries is April 10 and i don't have any new pieces finished
-i am in the middle of a painting
-i am in the middle of an assemblage
-i have the inspiration and the materials to do a sculpture/mobile/thingee, but it needs about a thousand solder joints
-i need to learn how to solder
-and get a soldering iron
-i was asked to do the publicity and marketing for that art exhibition
-which just got moved up by a week [MAY 15TH; YOU'RE ALL COMING, RIGHT?]
-i've been reminded that my handmade cards were the highest selling object at the last art exhibition so be sure to have plenty done
-i have 15-20 necklaces in the works
-i have 6 other necklaces designed and faux beaded that need finished
-there is a new thrift store in Catonsville that i've started courting to possibly carry a line of handmade or reimagined jewelry of mine
-i have the okay from the organizer of a local scrapbooking crop to be a vendor at her next crop, selling found objects, interesting notions and handmade embellishments, date April 16ish
-sort and package notions
-make displays and prices
-finish embellishments
-make pages/samples using my wares
-paint 12 chipboard books
-start April birthday cards
-Debbie's play is this weekend
-spend time with Colleen
-i am working on cultivating/growing about 10 new friendships within 2 totally different communities and need to devote time to each
-somehow i need to fit in at least 5 hours of sleep a night
-i can finally, finally go back to the gym
-i don't think i have clean underware for tomorrow
-there are 26 books checked out from the library in my living room, mocking me
-my taxes need done; where did i put my W-2?
-there are still 22 CDs checked out from the library that i am reviewing
-i owe Carlotta dinner
-this is day 3 of not buying any restaurant food; if i make it to 31 i get 20 stars, but i really want KFC for dinner so that i don't have to cook
-there is currently condiments, half an onion and Scotch in my fridge; i need to go shopping
-i am resolved not to go to the grocery store without a menu, shopping list and coupons
-like everyone else in this economy, i will soon be spending more each month than i make and banks don't believe in negative numbers; where do i get more income?
-i need to secure funds to ensure my mother's continued independence
-my museum is hosting the national conference in October; i am planning a traditional all-day outreach session, due date for changes and prices was a week ago and i have neither finished
-over the last year i've gained 20 pounds that needs attending to before my annual physical next month
-wait... did i schedule that physical? yes, i did.
-wait... did i just book a show for that day? hmmmm...
-i need a better recycling process at work cause currently i just take it home, but after rearranging our little corner there are about 5 loads of paper recycling
-the community clean-up day is April 9 and i want to volunteer
-i want to invite my new neighbors to dinner
-girls' craft night???
-we lost 5 limbs off of the dogwood tree; how am i going to get them to the mulcher on clean-up day?
-the basement seriously needs cleaned
-New Year's resolution #1 (volunteering) hasn't even been started yet; do i want to apply for CASA and/or mentor at St Vincent's?
-i got a baby shower invite for my high school best friend; wait... she's pregnant?!?
-the trivia season ended and we won our location; special game on Saturday, finals next weekend, Trivia Bowl (if we make it) on April 2nd
-i have 10 days of dirty dishes to wash
-i got a letter from my sponsored boy in Africa and i need to get a return letter in the mail by Saturday
-the are currently 15 blog posts started in the queue and i took picture today for 2 more
-need to fit in a phone debrief date with Matt and Sara this week
-i owe Grandpa a letter
-the only disorder left from the office shuffling is sitting in my space
-the 35L dewar is in pieces and i need to get it fixed
-did i take my mid-day pill?... yep; okay
...phew And that's just what came off of the top of my head. Most of these things are awesome opportunities that make me tingle with possibilities. Some of them are deadlines that i'm not sure i'm gonna make. Any money things really stress me out cause i don't really care about money, but that doesn't mean that i don't need it. I need more time, but have to get the sleep necessary to keep me healthy (dang it!). I am excited about the new things at work, but need to take time off to finish my outside endeavors, but can't take time off cause i'm understaffed and don't want to take time off cause i'm excited about the new things.
So Mike... does that clarify things a bit?
7 comments:
I am now too tired to work after reading that. Whew. I feel guilty for making you spend 45 minutes of your life writing all of that down. Please try to defer some of those things. Focus on the cards since they were big sellers. Delegate more at work. Take care of yourself.
Mike
This sounds like your 101 list...why is INSANITY not in the list of tags?? And seeing this, I do not need lectured about taking on too much anymore...ever. Take care of yourself.
From Your Lazy Cuz!
And I thought I was already completely exhausted...and then I read your blog ;) I agree with the others...take it easy once in awhile! You do NOT have to do everything all at once..and stop and smell the roses ;)
Remember when the option was slow down or else? If not, now might be a good time....<3 U
Don't feel bad, Mike; it was cathartic to type all that out and it helped me do some prioritizing.
I don't intend on doing everything at once, people. I am good at setting reasonable goals for myself. Unfortunately, some of these things have overlapping goals so i might have to pick and choose what gets done and that does not amuse me.
Wow! I knew most of those but it is still pretty amazing seeing it all in print. With all of that going on, I'm honored to be allowed space in your head and heart, let alone your list of what you're trying to fit in to the crazy schedule. Have faith that what you get done is what is supposed to get done, and the rest of it will take care of itself somehow. And as for me, we can get together whenever it works for you - so no pressure from me and I love and support you in all of these and beyond - no matter what.
Colleen
A ROUSING SECOND TO DOUGLAS' COMMENT. HEALTH FIRST, LAST, AND MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON YOUR LIST OR IN YOUR HEAD. YOU WERE LUCKY ONCE SO NO NEED TO PUSH IT. DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A FATHER ? WELL IT IS . LOVE YOU DAD
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