I am housesitting for the vacationing Jason and Kate, which mostly entails watering plants, feeding the cat and hanging out for a few hours in the evening with the cat, the television, the internet and the Wii.
It's a tough gig, really.
Last night i was watching tv while Ophelia was eating and i decided i was hungry as well. Fetching a pizza from the freezer downstairs, i turned the corner on the steps when the banister jumped out and bit my arm. It hurt, but i wasn't terribly concerned so i did some quick first aid and went about my pizza cooking, YouTube watching way.
At home a few hours later i seriously cleaned out the wound and got a good look - there was a nice sized splinter in my arm. I have enough biological understanding and first aid training that if i can fix a health problem myself, i will; my team has dubbed it "frontier medicine." I was able to get out a little piece of the splinter, but unfortunately it was wedged down at an angle on the back of my right arm. Even I was nervous about using an exacto with my left hand backwards in the mirror so i just wrapped it and went to bed. I knew that someone would have to probably cut under and around the splinter to get to it for extraction.
Luckily, the phrase and other duties as assigned is in my team's job description and i keep a handy-dandy multi-blade craft set at my desk.
The task fell to team member AJ as he was the only one in the office when i got there. I explained the situation and the procedure that would need to be done and asked him if he could help me. He agreed and set up his desk as the operating table
It's just not every office that you can walk by and see this type of thing happening. My boss looked at us, paused for a moment and said Well at least the hat makes me feel better
(total coincidence; he gave blood last week)
and then related stories of finding his doctor wife putting stitches and staples in his hockey-playing son at the kitchen table. I think you'd have to work long and hard to freak out anyone in this office.
After quite a bit of poking, prodding, cutting and swabbing (he did a great job, but was so concerned about hurting me that it took three times longer than it would have taken me if i could have done it myself and i know he sterilized the wound at least 20 times during the procedure) AJ finally said i think i've got it; brace yourself. Which was quickly followed by Oh my goodness! as he pulled it out. Apparently he thought i was exaggerating when i said it felt like there was a tree in my arm.
No, indeedy, there had been a chunk of painted banister in my arm It might be the largest splinter i've ever had. This is the sort of thing that happens when we are in-house instead of performing on the road.