Friday, November 21, 2008
Some things never change
My sophomore year of college I had 2 roommates - the one the Housing Office thought i lived with and the one i actually lived with. Mary-Ann was high strung and had an even higher strung Pomeranian, while Matthew was laid back and easy to get along with. He had an admissions double-single (2 person room with 2 keys, but only one occupant so the perspective students could stay in the dorms when they visited) so it was a bit of a no-brainer when i moved in with him. We had a quiet, pleasant life together in Scott 12. While we were at school last week we posed by our door : The guys living in the room came out and chatted with us for a while. They were friendly and seemed excited to talk to the alums that used to occupy their space. In fact, everyone we ran into in Kappa (our complex) was open and nice - some things never change. It was funny to see that on their door the boys had posted both a questionably appropriate and a possibly stolen sign : Some things never change. While we were standing around a guy came out of the hall showers, wet wearing only a towel and just excused himself right past us, completely unfazed by our presence or the cameras. Some things never change. The whole experience was fun and nostalgic as we reminisced about what our life was like back then, what we were like back then. There was a lot of laughter and a little chagrin as we recalled late night exploits, youthful experimentations and Sunday afternoon RPGs. But now as i look at these pictures I am thinking instead about some of the things we didn't talk about. Most people don't know that Matthew and I originally started cohabiting at the end of my freshman year because i had terrible insomnia and debilitating nightmares. With 2 people in those tiny dorm twin beds i physically couldn't toss and turn so i had to train my body to lay still beside his. Once i was physically still, i could eventually fall asleep. When i had nightmares he was there to soothe me back to sleep. Over time, the nightmares got further and further apart until they almost went away. Matthew gave me peace. As i struggled with finding my identity as a young woman away from home, Matthew was there. He bought me my first CD (a box set of Mozart flute concertos). He helped me let go of baggage from my past. He gave me some of the best presents. He was adventurous, but stable. We went on fun trips. His nickname for me was Babe. We were such a permanent fixture as a platonic couple that we were even sent joint Christmas cards that year. He was a lot more than my roommate - he was my best friend. When we were talking about this reunion months ago I was trying to figure out how i could possibly afford a 3-day weekend in Florida : Matthew offered to rent the condo and he used his airline points to get me a ticket. Once again, he was there to take care of me. Some things never change. With our busy adult lives we only see each other once every 2 years or so, but it really struck me how comfortable it is to be with him, like no time has passed since the lazy Sundays when we would read the Real Estate section of the paper in bed describing the perfect house to each other. Today is Matthew's 40th birthday and i love him as much now as i did 19 years ago. I hope some things never change.